Thursday, February 12, 2009

Are You Really Ready for a New Relationship?
After getting divorced, many people delude themselves by thinking they need to jump into a new relationship right away. The pain from the divorce can be overwhelming and finding a new love becomes a distraction and way to feel good again.
But the reality is you may not be ready for a new relationship after your divorce just yet. Here are a few questions you need to ask yourself to determine if it is wise for you to get back into the dating scene and meet someone new:
1. Have you properly mourned the end of your marriage? The grieving process for getting over a divorce can take years, so I am not suggesting that you put your life on hold and not date, but it is important that you have least begun the process and are in the latter stages of grief. It is unfair to a new mate to begin a relationship if you have not emotionally let go of the previous one.
2. Are you ready to invest time and energy in a new relationship? The time period after a divorce can be a wonderful opportunity to be selfish and fulfill some of your own needs. Without a husband to worry about, you are free to make your own choices. You can call your own shots and enjoy your new found freedom. This may grow old after a while and you may find yourself longing for companionship. However, if you enter into a new relationship too quickly after a divorce without giving yourself some "alone time" you may regret it later.
3. Are you happy with your life as it is now? If you are looking for someone to ease your pain, rescue you and make your life better, you are in for a rude awakening. Get your own life settled and in order before bringing someone else into it. Find a new love when you are happy and fulfilled and that person will be a welcome addition in your life, not someone you desperately need to make you happy.


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