Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Can You Have a Peaceful Divorce if Your Ex Won't Cooperate?..
We have all heard about "peaceful" and "collaborate" divorces where couples vow to work together and resolve their differences in an amicable and fair manner during the divorce. But what happens if you want to take the high road and your ex is out for blood? Does a peaceful divorce become impossible?
I think it becomes much more difficult, but is still possible. If you are dealing with a hostile, soon to be ex who hires a vicious divorce attorney, you have to be prepared and be on guard. You cannot be naive. But since the only person's behavior you can control is your own, you can steer your thoughts and emotions towards a positive outcome and keep yourself from joining in on the divorce battle your ex has created.
By refusing to stoop to his level and retaliate against him ,you retain your own personal power. I am not saying you shouldn't take the necessary legal steps to protect yourself financially. What I am talking about is protecting yourself emotional and spiritually from the enormous damage a nasty divorce can cause.
To tell you to think positive and not strike back when you are being attacked by your ex may sound naive, but by keeping control of your own emotions and actions, you stay in control. When you allow your ex's actions to influence you, upset you and cause you to lash out, he wins.
So how do you keep your thoughts positive during a divorce? You start by reaching for better feeling thoughts. When you find yourself upset by something your ex has said or done, reach for a thought that feels better. Hold in your mind a vision of your divorce being settled amicably and quickly. See yourself at the courthouse, smiling, signing the final divorce papers. See yourself being civil to your ex and feel the enormous sense of relief you feel now that your divorce battle is over. Feel the excitement you have now, knowing your new life is about to begin.
Keep playing this scenario over and over again, everyday. Keep yourself as positive as possible and try to stay in a good feeling place. You will shocked and amazed at how things will turn around.
An excellent book to read about reaching for better thoughts despite the circumstances around you and the law of attraction is The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther Hicks.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Former NJ Governor is a Deadbeat Dad...
Former New Jersey Gov. James E. McGreevey is $11,000 behind in child support for the child he had with his first wife, despite the fact that he lives in a mansion owned by his gay partner and claims to owe his boyfriend more than $200,000 for legal fees and expenses.
If he can borrow that kind of money from his partner, shouldn't he borrow the money to pay his child support first? Isn't the needs of his child more important than the court battle with his second wife?
McGreevey claims to only make about $48,000 a year now. He has said that no one wants to hire him because he is gay, yet the radio station 101.5 in NJ revealed they had offered him a job as a radio host that the former Governor has turned down.
Although he claims that he does want to pay child support to his two daughter from his two failed marriages, it is obvious that McGreevey does not want to fulfill his obligations as a parent. It seems that is own needs come first. He is on record as earning $429,000 in 2006 and $185,000 last year. He has the potential to earn a substantial income and I hope the judge in his divorce case forces him to start paying child support. He needs to be made an example of. The message needs to be clear: No parent has the right to neglect their children and refuse to support them financially.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Cheaters Beware: Your Spouse May be Spying On you...With the amazing advancements in technology, it has become easier than ever to catch a cheating spouse. Computer Sights, a computer support and surveillance supply store in Florida is selling GPS devices the size of a matchbox. There are also clock radios, smoke detectors, and other household devices that conceal tiny hidden cameras for purchase.
Because the price of these devices are affordable to the public, anybody who suspects their spouse is cheating can easily obtain one and become a spy, without having to hire a costly private investigator.
So is it ethical to spy on your spouse? That is a tricky question. On one hand, if you do suspect your spouse is cheating and you confront him and he denies it, having proof is important for your own peace of mind. On the other hand, you could be wrong and if you spouse finds out you are spying on him, you could be jeopardizing your marriage. How would you feel if you were innocent and then found out your spouse had your home and car rigged with spy equipment?
I think you need to trust your instincts. If you strongly suspect your ex is cheating, you are probably right. Our own inner guidance system is powerful and accurate. If you are certain he is cheating, but need physical proof for closure, then you may want to consider investing in a tracking device or other piece of spy equipment.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Youtube’s “Divorce Lady” Invited to the Largest Divorce Party in the U.S.
Authors invite Tricia Walsh-Smith to celebrate her divorce with 300 South Florida divorcees
Fort Lauderdale, FL: After watching Tricia Walsh-Smith on YouTube.com complaining about her impending divorce, authors Christina Rowe and Rosalind Sedacca, hosts of the Largest Divorce Party in the nation, decided to invite Ms.Walsh to their next Divorce Party on May 30th. Hundreds of divorced men and women from South Florida have been gathering at Christopher’s Night Club in Ft. Lauderdale over the last few months to celebrate the end of their marriages in a positive way.
“We are hoping that a Divorce Party will help Tricia Walsh-Smith move on and let go of her bitterness,” says Christina Rowe, author of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce. The authors are offering to pay for a round trip plane ticket from N.Y. to Fort Lauderdale for Ms. Walsh so she can attend the party.
“A Divorce Party may be just what she needs to get past her negative emotions, have some fun and focus on starting over with dignity,” says Rosalind Sedacca, author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? “Our Parties are all about celebrating new beginnings, laughing, letting go and moving on. It provides guests with a safe environment to mark the end of their marriages with a ritual so they can begin a new chapter in their life with new confidence.”
At the Party Tricia Walsh-Smith will enjoy dancing to breakup songs like “I Will Survive” and ‘Love is a Battlefield” on a dance floor that features a black wedding cake. She can also bring a picture of her ex to pin on “The Wall of Shame.” Tricia can participate in several tongue-in-cheek, zany games and contests and possibly win a free book, Spa Beauty Basket or other great prizes. “And everyone is encouraged to bring their friends, along with their sense of humor,” says Rowe. The party is sponsored by Divorce360.com and Divorce Magazine. Both authors promise valuable goodie bags for all who attend.
The Divorce Party starts at 9:00 p.m. and features free drinks for ladies and other drink specials from 9:30 to 11:30. Christopher’s Night Club is located at 2857 E. Oakland Park Blvd. in Ft. Lauderdale. For more information call 561 742-3537.
Admission is $10 at the door and $8 for those registered on the VIP Guest List at: www.secretsofdivorce.com/divorceparty.html.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Celebrity Proves A Peaceful Divorce Is Possible...
Actor Robin Williams, who is divorcing his wife of 19 years, has vowed to have a peaceful divorce and plans to work with his soon to be ex-wife to keep their divorce as civil as possible.
Williams has said "We will strive to be honest, cooperative and respectful as we work in this process to achieve the future well being of our families,"and "We commit ourselves to the collaborative law process and agree to seek a positive way to resolve our differences justly and equitably."
After the recent onslaught of bitter Hollywood divorces-Paul McCartney/Heather Mills, Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen and Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda, to name a few, it is wonderful to see a celebrity set a good example by handling his divorce in a fair and dignified manner.
Hopefully more couples will follow the Williams' example and strive for a peaceful divorce. Couples who settle their divorces amicably are better able to co-parent their children together, have kids with less emotional problems and save a fortune on attorney fees. It is possible, although not always easy, to avoid a costly divorce battle. It takes putting aside your own emotions and anger and doing what is best for your family. If a couple can work together and come to a divorce settlement either on their own or with the help of a mediator, they will save themselves and their children stress, heartache and money.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Three Ways To Avoid Picking "Mr. Wrong" Again After A Divorce..
You may feel ready to start dating again after your divorce but do you wonder how you can avoid picking a new mate just like your ex? Studies say that the divorce rate for second marriages can be up to 70%. It can be scary getting back into the dating game again. You may even question your own judgement, if you picked the wrong kind of man last time how do you know you won't do it again? Here are three ways to avoid picking "Mr. Wrong"and find the right guy the second time around:
1. Be in the moment. When you go out on a date, try and enjoy your time with your date without projecting into the future. As women we tend to size men up very quickly and make judgements about him. He may not be the right height, have the right job or be someone we are immediately attracted to, but by rushing to judgement, you could overlook a gem. If you are having a good time and are feeling good, go out with him again. Take it one date at a time and only go out with someone who makes you feel good.
2. Judge a potential new mate by his actions, not by what he says. Pay close attention to how your date behaves. Is he reliable? Does he call when he says he will? Do not make excuses for someone who is a sweet talker but may be unreliable. Always trust your instincts and if you have doubts, get out of the relationship.
3. Do not try and change someone into the person you want them to be. All too often, women make the mistake of trying to mold their new man into the man of their dreams. If you cannot accept your new man the way he is, he is not the man for you.
The best way to avoid another failed relationship is to work on yourself and your own happiness. When you are feeling happy, you naturally attract other happy people. Remember, like attracts like. The traits you desire in a new mate are the very same traits you need to cultivate in yourself. Become the type of person you desire a relationship with and you will attract that kind of person into your life.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Do You Ever Wonder How You Could Of Married Your Ex?...
I brought my kids to visit their dad this weekend and have been trying my best to get along with him so that we can co-parent our children in a healthy way. This has not been easy. My ex likes to challenge me and push my buttons. My goal has been to stay calm no matter what he is saying to me and not react in a negative way.
Today we were having a conversation in a public place and my ex started to pepper his language with some profanity. Not only was this in front of my two teenage sons who are very impressionable and are reprimanded for using foul language themselves, it was in earshot of other children and their parents. Needless to say I was embarrassed and asked him to watch his language. He refused and did not see anything wrong with cursing in public.
Later on, after the incident, I wondered how my ex could of changed so much. I felt like I did not know this person. Was this the same man I was married to for 13 years?At first, I could not recall him acting the way he did today. But then I remembered,there were times when he acted the very same way, I just had forgotten. Maybe he hadn't changed into this foul mouthed, angry man after our divorce, maybe he had been that man all along. Maybe the person who changed was me. I was now someone who would not tolerate that kind of behavior anymore.
The person I was at 22 years old when I married this man is not the same person I am today at 40. I am so thankful now that I was able to escape a marriage to someone who has such different beliefs and values than me. Even though my divorce was a nightmare, it has forced me to grow and change in ways I never thought possible. I am happier now that I have ever been in my life.
So will my ex and I ever be able to co-parent together and get along for the sake of our children? I am trying and things have gotten better, despite his outbursts and bad language. I have discovered that although nothing I do or say can change my ex's behavior, I can control my reaction to him and the way I behave.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Getting Organized During Your Divorce..
If you are facing a divorce you need to get organized and prepared. I advise anyone facing a divorce to make copies of all legal and financial documents. I found a free divorce worksheet that can help you in this process at: http://www.docstoc.com/docs/272854/Divorce-Work-Sheet Docstoc.com is a great resource of free documents that you can download.
When you get organized during a divorce it helps you feel in control in a situation where you often feel helpless and overwhelmed. Although sifting through paperwork sounds tedious, it can be exactly what you need to do right now to feel better. Knowing your families financial situation and what you cane expect to receive in your divorce settlement can also ease anxiety about your financial future.
Take some time to go through the paperwork, clean out closets, and get rid of the clutter in your life. Divorce is the end of a marriage but it is also a new beginning. By getting organized you are paving the way for your new life after divorce.