Monday, August 27, 2007

Some Reasons For Adultery

Why do people commit adultery? There are many reasons a man or woman might give for being unfaithful. The most common reason is he or she claims to be "unhappy" in his or her marriage. They think that by having an affair they can escape the drudgery of daily life and live out a secret fantasy with their lover.

The person who cheats feels jaded and disappointed in life. They no longer feels young and are desperate to recapture the carefree days of their youth. The responsibilities of caring for children, working and pleasing a spouse have become too much. They yearn to escape, to go back to a simpler time in life when they were free to do as they please.

Most of the people who cheat do not want to end their marriages. They want their families,the illusion of a happy home life and the excitement of a lover too. Usually when they are caught they are forced to make a decision. Either their spouse asks for a divorce or they leave their spouse and family for their lover.

Some common excuses for adultery are that their spouse has let him or herself go physically, they are no longer interested in sex or they nag all of the time. These excuses are used as justifications for betrayal. These people will grasp onto to anything to assuage the guilt they may feel over cheating .I actually spoke to man who was having an affair who said he "felt like he was drowning and his lover was his life raft".

Although a person may be in a miserable marriage and unhappy it does not give him or her the right to go out and bring another person into the marriage. Finding out your spouse is having an affair is one of the most devastating emotions you can experience. The betrayal cuts like a knife. Anyone who has went through it can tell you it takes years to heal from that kind betrayal.

If a someone is in an unhappy marriage, they can make a different choice. They can make the choice to tell their spouse they want a divorce. They can make the choice to seek marriage counseling. They can make choices that do not involve hurting other people. Men and women who are tempted to cheat need to take responsibility and become accountable for their unhappiness instead of blaming others. If leaving the marriage is the only option , they need to stand up and do what is right by telling their spouse they want a divorce, instead of taking the cowardly way out.

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