Saturday, August 11, 2007

Chasing After A Deadbeat Parent-Is It Worth It?


Have you been trying unsuccessfully to get a deadbeat parent to pay the child support he owes? If so, then you know that each court date and each decision in the process takes an emotional toll. This debilitation can often become a physical drain as well. The cost of chasing a deadbeat is paid in more than money. While you need to do all you can to get support for your children, you must also temper your efforts with an attitude of peace and acceptance.

If you have done all you can, exhausting every avenue, it may be time to let go. At such a point you must use that energy to accent the positives in your life. You may find that the time spent on pursuit is better spent on furthering yourself and your career. That’s not to say that you should ever let a deadbeat ex off the hook. But you can’t allow the battle to destroy you either.

I have learned all of this the hard way. Though my ex-husband now pays his child support, I have come to see that I will always have to be the chief breadwinner for my family. I realize now that ultimately the only person I can rely on is myself. With that in mind, I work on my career and focus on improving myself. That way I will always be able to provide the income that my kids need and deserve.

In any future fight I would not allow myself to fall victim to the emotional devastation I felt the first time. My energy now is devoted to positive thoughts and outcomes. I am a true believer in “what you think about, is what you get.” I choose to surround myself with positive people and things and have had great results from doing so. Money flows easier to those who have positive energy. Things go smoother, and you feel happier. Never let your ex-spouse’s actions affect your peace and happiness. It is just not worth it.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congrats on taking control of your life. Unfortunately, many custodial parents do not have the confidence to take this higher road. The good news is technology is enabling counties to find people and their income better than before. With the challenges of being a custodail parent, the financial support of an ex-spouse is of great assistance. I'd say work with your agency and if all else fails, get a collection agency. Your kids deserve it, don't they?

Unknown said...

Your right, Paula. Most custodial parents rely on child support to support their children. I am not saying not to pursue the child support owed to your children, just do not let the fight consume you. There are many parents owed huge amounts of back child support and have ex-spouses who hide assets,work off the books and sometimes cannot even be located.

If you are going to use a child support collection agency, be sure to do your research. Most of these agencies do charge a percentage of the support collected. Make sure to use a reputable agency with a good track record.

An excellent resource for collecting child support is the non-profit organization, A.C.E.S
you can check out their website at:
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.shtml
They offer great advice and assistance for collecting child support payments.

Unknown said...
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Anonymous said...

Sounds like you are a real headcase! Why don't you get a real job.