Three Reasons Why You Need Hire a Forensic Accountant...

We all know divorce is expensive. Most divorce lawyers ask for retainers

between 3,000 and 5,000 dollars. So it can come as a shock when your lawyer recommends you hire a forensic accountant.

These professionals charge anywhere from $5,000 and up. It is a huge divorce expense and you may be wondering if you really need to hire one.

Although a forensic accountant may be expensive, if there are substantial assets to be divided, it can be money well spent. I know of a woman whose husband offered her a large settlement after discovering his business would be evaluated by a forensic accountant. Apparently he had been less than truthful on his tax returns and was fearful the accountant would find out and report the findings to the court.

Here are three reasons why you may need a forensic accountant:

1. You own a business. The forensic accountant can provide a valuation of what he thinks the business is worth. It is crucial that you know the true value of your business when negotiating your divorce settlement.

2. Your ex owns a business and you do not have access to the business records. Ex-spouses' have been known to manipulate business records in their favor, especially if it is a cash business. If you have not been part of the daily operations of the business and do not have the financial records, you will need a forensic accountant.

3. You have reason to believe your ex is hiding assets. If you have any reason to believe that your ex is being dishonest and may be hiding bank accounts, selling assets or resorting to sneaky behavior when it comes to the family finances, you may need both a forensic accountant and a private investigator.

Deadbeat Dads Pay Child Support When Hunting Licenses Are Revoked..

Several states have implemented a new policy of denying fishing and hunting licenses to deadbeat parents who are behind on child support.

The plan has been a great success, with the state of Illinois collecting $130,000 in back child support.

One man in Maine reportedly paid $30,000 in child support arrears just so he could keep his hunting license!

What is wrong with these fathers? They have no problem abandoning their children financially, but cannot live without hunting and fishing? When I first heard about the plan to deny fishing and hunting licenses I assumed that if a person refused to pay child support, they were not going to care about not being able to fish or hunt. Obviously I was wrong.

How sad is it when a parent cares more about his own pleasures than the needs of his children. Wake up deadbeat parents. It is time to step up to the plate and take care of your children. You should be ashamed. There is no justification for avoiding child support. I don't care if you hate your ex or think the judge made an unfair ruling. If you are unemployed, go get a job. Put your children first. They are counting on you.

Crazy Divorce News...

Recently there has been a surge in crazy divorce news. Here are some highlights:

-A Conn. firefighter jumped off a moving abulance when he spotted his soon to be ex-wife walking in town with her divorce lawyer. He then preceded to tackle the lawyer to the ground, knocking off his glasses in front of a crowd

of people.

- An Australian man is selling his life on ebay after his divorce. He says he wants to get rid of all his belongings and start over so he has no memories of his wife.

-Bon Jovi member Richie Sambora was arrested for DUI in California. No shock there, considering he has been to rehab twice in the last year. But what is shocking is that he had his 10 year old daughter and another child in the car while driving drunk. Now that is crazy.

Finally, Former NJ Governor Jim McGreevy's crazy divorce goes on and on with his former wife suing him for damages, saying she had no idea he was gay when she married him. He has retaliated by bringing in a former aide who claims to have had sexual tryst with McGreevey and his wife while they were married. Can this divorce get any dirtier or disgusting? Especially considering they have a young daughter who will someday read about this. How sad.

Are Divorced Women Angry, Desperate and Miserable?...

Of course not! But sadly there are some stereotypes out there about female divorcees. We are often cast as angry, bitter women desperate for sex. The term "Cougars" is now being thrown around to describe older women supposedly hunting down young men half their age.

Funny how I have not heard any derogatory terms used to coin divorced men. When a man gets divorced and starts dating a girl young enough to be his daughter, no one seems to notice.

I recently received an email about my book Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce from a woman. Here is what she wrote: "Is there really a secret to a successful divorce? All the single women that I know are miserably single from what they tell me and almost 100% cannot find another man because they become too picky about the type of man that they are looking for."

I coach woman who are going through a divorce and most of the women I speak to are not "miserably single". In fact, many are relieved to be free from a unhappy marriage and excited about what the future holds. Although there may be some women who cannot get past their divorces and choose not to move on, they are the minority.

I think this kind of thinking is a great disservice to women . Most divorced women are raising kids, holding down full time jobs and trying to squeeze in a social life. Believe me, they have no time to be hanging out every weekend in nightclubs picking up young men in their 20's.

I think the stereotypes and myths about divorced women may stem from some people's inability to accept that women today can survive without a man. No longer are we destined to marry and stay in a miserable marriage, giving up our self worth. We can stand on our own, be successful and choose whether or not we want a man in our lives.

Rebound Marriages After a Divorce...

Sara Evans, country singer and former Dancing with the Stars contestant, revealed that she is engaged, just six short months after a nasty divorce battle. Even more shocking is the news that French President Nicolas Sarkozy , remarried model Carla Bruni, shortly after he divorced his wife of 11 years. His ex-wife also remarried in NYC over the weekend, only four months after their divorce was finalized.

What is going on with the trend of marrying again on the rebound shortly after a divorce? I have been divorced for almost 3 years and still cannot even imagine getting married again yet. I just don't get it.

After a divorce you need time to recover emotionally. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can be disastrous. What usually happens is that a person will find that the problems he or she had with their first partner are also in the new relationship. Until you have taken the time to reflect and analyze your marriage, the good, the bad and the ugly and take some responsibility for the divorce, you will just bring the same issues and problems from one relationship to another, never resolving them.

The time period after a divorce can be a great time to spend on yourself, learning to enjoy your own company ans rediscovering what makes you happy. After a divorce you need time to be single again before finding a new love. If you are contemplating a new romance shortly after a divorce, slow down and take some time out before committing too soon.

Are You a Struggling Single Mom?...

With the gas prices on the rise and the current economic conditions today, many single moms are struggling to make ends meet. Now, even working full time at a good job may not be enough to make ends meet.

The mothers who do not receive child support on a regular basis are in even more trouble. Cutting back on expenses and trying to stretch your money is a good idea, but it seems like expenses always creep up at the worst time. The car breaks down, your pet needs to go to the vet or some other unforeseen expense arises that can put you over the edge financially.

So what can single moms do to get through the tough times and bring in some much needed cash? Here are three ways to make some money quickly.

1. Ebay. Go through your kid's outgrown clothes, video games and toys and put them for sale on Ebay.com. All you need is a digital camera to get started. Ebay is very self-explanatory and it is simple to list items for sale. If you don't own a digital camera, borrow one from a friend. You will be surprised at how much you can fetch for items that you no longer use.

2. Turn your old jewelry into cash. With gold prices up, now is a good time to gather up any jewelry you no longer wear. Get out those gold chains, earrings and bracelets and take them to a local jeweler that buys gold. You may get several hundred dollars for what was collecting dust in your jewelry drawer, depending on how much you have.

3. Consider starting a part time business. Think of some creative ideas you could implement to bring in a little extra money each month. Make a list of your current skills. For example, if you are good at bookkeeping you could put an ad on Craiglist.com offering your services to local businesses. Think of what you are good at already and come up with ways to market that skill.

Although times are tough, keep your spirits high and know that things will get better. You may be in debt, facing mounds of unpaid bills or even facing foreclosure like many Americans right now, but you still have your family and your own inner strength to pull you through. Most successful people in the world have hit hard times but what made them different from most is that they did not give up or give in to self-doubt and despair. Forge ahead and know that your life will turn around.

Sex with Ex? Are you kidding me?

Personally, I cannot even fathom having sex with the ex, the thought makes me queasy. But apparently there are divorcing couples out there who continue to have sex with each other after a divorce. I find this quite surprising.

Why get a divorce if you still want to sleep together? Maybe couples who have had an amicable divorce still find each other attractive and use each other physically until they find a new relationship? But it seems more likely that couples who are intimate after divorce are unable to sever the ties between them. It makes it twice as hard to move on if you are still having sexual relations with your ex.

There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life. You can still continue to have a platonic relationship with your ex and it is great if you can still be friends. But that is where it should end.

Although it may be comforting and safe to continue relations with your ex, you are preventing yourself from meeting someone new. By holding on to the past, you put your dreams for your new life after divorce on hold too. It is time to let go and move on.

Crazy in The Courtroom: Are you out of control?

Yesterday, Heather Mills, former wife of Paul McCartney, was awarded 48.6 million in her divorce settlement. Not bad for 4 years of marriage. But legal analysts are saying that Ms. Mills could of received even more money considering Paul McCartney's enormous wealth and the lack of a prenuptial agreement.

So what turned the court in Sir Paul's favor? In the judge's ruling he said this of Heather Mills "I am driven to the conclusion that much of her evidence, both written and oral, was not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid."

Obviously, the judge does not think highly of Heather Mills. He did not view her as credible and it hurt her in the courtroom. There are reports today that she even throw a glass of water at her ex-husband's attorney. Although I would have loved to have done the same to my ex-husband's nasty lawyer during our divorce, thankfully, I was able to control myself.

What you can learn from this story is that any out of control behavior in the courtroom will impact your divorce case. If you are currently involved a divorce battle right now, it is crucial that you find a way to control yourself in the courtroom. You may be seething with rage at your ex, you must exhibit self-control.

It will not be easy, but you can do it. Here are a few quick reminders to help you stay in the good graces of the judge during court hearings:

1. Do not stare or look at your soon to be ex in court. Do give him dirty looks or make faces either.
2. Do not speak in court unless asked to by the Judge. Write notes to your lawyer if you need to communicate while court is in session.
3. Dress appropriately and remember to also watch your behavior while waiting for court to begin. Do not speak to your ex outside of the courtroom.

Find out how to protect yourself and your children during divorce....

An Important Tax Form You Must Include in Your Divorce Decree....

With the deadline to file taxes only weeks away, many divorced men and women may find themselves in a tricky position when it comes time to file their returns. In the final divorce decree, the settlement outlines which parent can claim which child. Usually, if there are two children for example, each parent gets to claim one. But some divorce parents ignore this court order and file before their ex spouse and claim both children on their tax return.

This is a clear violation of the divorce decree but since divorce decrees are usually only binding on the parties that agree to it, the IRS does not have to honor your divorce order. Meaning your ex can get away with claiming your kids. If the child lived with you for more than half a year you can go ahead and claim the child anyway, but the IRS may challenge you and you will have to prove the child resided with you.

There is an IRS form that can solve this problem. The best way to protect your rights is to tell your divorce lawyer you want your soon to be ex to sign a IRS Form 8332, waiving the right to claim the child. One must be filled out for each child. You can then in return sign one for your ex waiving any rights to claim the child he has been assigned to claim.

It amazes me that most divorce lawyers do not tell their clients about this form. It will prevent aggravation and a possible trip back to family court to enforce a violation of the divorce order later on. If you are in the middle of a divorce right now make sure to inform your attorney you want this form included in your final divorce decree.

Find out how to protect yourself and your children during divorce...

Why Women Stay With Men Who Cheat...

The big story in the news this week is how Governor Elliot Spitzer cheated on his wife by frequenting high price prostitutes. It appears, for now, that his wife is standing by her man.

I cringed while watching the T.V footage of the Governor's confession while his poor wife stood silently by his side. Can you imagine the torment this woman going through? She is most likely in a state of shock right now and who knows if she will eventually file for divorce.

Why do some women stay with men who have betrayed them? I think there a number of reasons. Low self esteem and guilt are high on the list. Women tend to blame themselves when things go wrong. We are notorious for trying to fix problems and feel responsible for the actions and behaviors of our family members. A mother often blames herself when her child does poorly in school, for instance.

A women who discovers her husband's affair might torture herself wondering what she did wrong in the marriage to cause her husband to stray. In the case of Governor Spitzer, his wife might be wondering what was so wrong with their sex life that her husband felt the need to have sex with a call girl. What women need to understand is that their husband's infidelity was a choice he made and was not cause by anything she did. You cannot drive a man to commit adultery.

A woman may also feel guilty. Maybe she did not spend enough time with her husband or gained weight and feels he no longer finds her attractive. She becomes determined to fix her marriage and sweep the affair under the rug.

But is it emotionally healthy to stay married to a cheater? I think it depends on how the cheating husband reacts to being caught. Is he genuinely remorseful?Was it a one time occurrence? Or does he blame his wife for the affair?If he is honestly wracked with guilt and truly sorry for his actions, there may be some hope to save the marriage. But usually an affair is preceded by other martial problems that caused cracks in the marriage. If the marriage was not solid before the affair, it may be very difficult to rebuild the trust that is essential to a healthy marriage.

Time with tell if Mrs. Spitzer can ever forgive her husband. After the public humiliation she has suffered, I hope she at least takes some time out to take care of herself. She needs to explore her feelings and decide whether or not she can ever trust her husband again.

Find out how to protect yourself and your children during a divorce....

Divorce Rage...

I spoke to a man the other day who is going through a tough divorce. After 30 years of marriage, his wife has left him for another man. This man is so enraged that he has considered hiring a hit man to do his wife in and also said he rather commit suicide rather than pay his wife alimony.

So what puts someone over the deep end during a divorce? I often say that people going through a divorce are temporarily insane. Emotions take over and perfectly normal, law abiding citizens become capable of acts they would of never dreamt possible. Let's face it, it hurts like hell to find out your spouse has cheated on you or wants to leave you. Feelings of betrayal and abandonment can overwhelm us.

Just the other day a 52 year old Tennessee woman burst into a crowded church with a gun, fired it and chased her soon to be ex-husband. Obviously this woman was in a blind rage and all rational thinking went out the window. Her out of control behavior maybe an extreme example of how divorce rage can destroy lives, but everyday restraining orders are filed against spouses who cannot control their emotions during divorce.

So how can you cool down and gain control when anger and frustration rear their ugly head during your divorce?

The key is to let it out. Do not try and bottle up your emotions, you will only explode later on. Feel the rage and the hurt and deal with it when it comes up. Punch a pillow, scream or call a friend and vent. Do not act on your impulses. Force yourself to stop and think before taking action. Anything you do to interrupt yourself during a fit of anger is good. During my own divorce, my husband's mistress called my eldest daughter a slut on the phone. You can only imagine the anger and rage I was feeling at her when I found out. I stopped, took a deep breath and then poured myself a glass of wine. I knew that if I had a drink I would be unable to drive and would not confront her. It worked. I was able to calm down instead of react.

Maintaining control during your divorce is imperative, but not easy. Acting out in anger and frustration can only lead to trouble. Calm down, take a step back and stay in control. Eventually the angry feelings will lessen and you will be at peace once again.

Who Gets The House? A Growing Problem For Divorcing Couples..

We are all aware of the real estate market conditions and how difficult it can be now to sell a home. There is also the issue of those adjustable rate mortgages and many families facing foreclosure because high mortgage payments they cannot afford.

So how does this affect you during a divorce? Dividing assets, primary the family home, has now become much more complicated. Here is one problem. Let's assume the husband and wife divide the martial assets so that the wife and kids get the family home. Both of their names are currently on the mortgage with the agreement that the husband's name will be removed from the mortgage a few months after the divorce is final.

When the wife attempts to get new financing on the home, she is rejected by lenders. She cannot qualify with her income and credit rating alone. Her husband remains on the mortgage and now he cannot purchase a new home. He also worries that his credit rating will be negatively impacted should his wife stop making the mortgage payments. A real life example is a divorced Virgina woman who is facing possible jail time for contempt of court because she has been unable to remove her ex-husband's name off the mortgage. She has been repeatedly rejected by mortgage lenders and has been unable to sell the home. Her ex-husband wants the court to force her to sell the home at a public auction.

This is a serious problem facing many divorced couples in the U.S today. Make sure to find out if you qualify for a new mortgage before accepting the family home in your divorce settlement. You may want to sell the home instead and rent.

How Kids Get Screwed Up During Divorce...

The latest celebrity divorce causality is the 17 year old son of Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda. The Hogan's divorce is becoming increasingly hostile and now both parties are asking the court that the other party be forbidden from speaking about the divorce to their son. In a motion filed by Linda Bollea(the Hogan's real last name), she claims that Terry Bollea (Hulk Hogan) has discussed in detail with his son what Bollea thinks are good reasons for selling the family's $7.2 million Clearwater home. Linda Bollea is currently living there with Nick, and does not wish to sell the property.

"The Husband has ... told the minor child that that the sale of the marital home will ensure the best result with regard to the minor child's pending criminal case, as well as the Husband's anticipated personal injury lawsuit," the motion says. In his own filing, Hulk Hogan accuses his wife of "highly emotional and degrading outbursts as well as ... derogatory descriptions of the Husband in the presence of the minor child."

You can only imagine what the young 17 year old Nick Bollea is feeling right now, being torn between his two parents. Sadly, many divorcing couples get so caught up in the battle with their ex, that the kids are swept into the drama. If you are going through a divorce, do not ask your kids to relay information to your spouse. Do not ask your kids to spy on your spouse either. As difficult as it may be, do not bad mouth your soon to be ex in front of your kids.

I know if is easier said then done, I have been there myself during my own divorce. Divorce has a way of bringing out the worst in people. Divorcing couples often border on being temporarily insane. All logic goes out the window and emotion takes over.That is why it is important that you take a step back and put aside your hurt and anger. Put the kids first. If you and your spouse set ground rules concerning the kids early on during the divorce, you can minimize the emotional trauma to your kids. Keep the kids out of it and you can safeguard their emotional well being.

Is Your Divorce Attorney A Money Hungry Shark?

I coached a woman today who is going through one of the worst divorces I have ever seen. I thought my divorce was terrible, but this woman's divorce made mine pale in comparison. She is approaching her third year in litigation with no end in sight. I won't go into details here for privacy issues, but the reason her divorce has not settled is because of her crazy husband and his unethical divorce attorney.

It is funny how the law of attraction works. Like attracts like. So her out of control, devious husband has attracted a lawyer who is just like him. Her own attorney informed her that her husband's attorney is not interested in settling because he always goes to trial, that is how he makes his money.

How sad that the average cost for a divorce is reportedly $106,000 per case in some areas of the U.S. That money could be used to put a child through college, instead it is squandered on high price lawyers who prey on their clients, knowing their clients are in a highly emotional state.

Of course, not all divorce lawyers are bad. There are some caring, kind divorce lawyers who genuinely want to help their clients. Many of them practice collaborate divorce law and work with mediators to try and settle the cases they see as quickly as possible. There is also the argument that many aggressive divorce lawyers are just doing their job, trying to win the case for their clients. But at what cost? If you know that your client is lying and trying to cheat his or her spouse how do you represent someone like that? You wonder how they sleep at night.

I think it all goes back again to theory that we attract like minded people into our lives. If we are angry and vengeful we will attract angry, vengeful people. Until divorcing couples wake up and realize that fighting during divorce is only going to bring misery, there will still be plenty of hungry divorce lawyers looking to make a fortune at their expense. When couples remember that it is possible to divorce and be kind and fair, then they will attract the same kind of lawyers and mediators who can help them settle their divorce fairly and quickly.

You Are Invited to The Largest Divorce Party In The U.S...


After suffering through my nasty, long divorce battle, I was emotionally drained. When the divorce papers were finally signed, I felt like celebrating. I had heard about divorce parties, but never got the chance to throw myself one. Then I met Rosalind Sedacca, a divorced woman who
also never had a divorce party and we decided it would be fun to throw ourselves and everyone else who has been through a divorce, the largest divorce party in the U.S.

South Florida’s first-ever Divorce Party will be held at Christopher's Nightclub in Fort Lauderdale on Friday, March 7th celebrating new beginnings for women and men who are facing or have experienced divorce. The theme of the Divorce Party is: Laugh, let go and move on. Your new life begins now!

The Divorce Party is being sponsored by Divorce Magazine(www.divorcemagazine.com) and co-sponsored by two prominent professionals who practice in South Florida. Cynthia Tiano, Esq., “The Mediator,” is the author of the new book, Happily Divorced (www.divorceTV.tv). Priscilla Marotta, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and director of the Center of Psychological Effectiveness (www.solutionsnottalk.com).

"Our approach is connect with divorcing or divorced people in a light-hearted, fun way through a Divorce Party at one of the most popular night clubs in the heart of South Florida,” says Rosalind Sedacca, CCT. Rosalind is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! “By offering fun games, contests, music, drinks, prizes and a free Goodie Bag, we’re inviting attendees to release some energy and have a good time in a safe, supportive environment.”

“We are expecting between 400-600 people all looking to have a good time. Your'e welcome to bring your friends to the celebration – even those who are married. And who knows, some people may even end up meeting their next ex!” We have planned a full roster of activities including a “Pin the Blame on Your Ex” game, “Toss the Wedding Ring in the Toilet,” and dancing to your favorite break-up songs all night long.

However, the theme is not about bashing and revenge. Quite the contrary. In addition to holding a “Worst Ex of South Florida” contest, we are also having a “Happy Divorce” contest inviting stories about split partners who are still getting along and plan on remaining friends. In fact, we promise that attendees who actually show up with their ex will receive special prizes.

“Our books, CDs and seminars offer sound advice for a very serious subject,” notes Sedacca. “But everyone needs time to kick up their heels and laugh, especially when life is stressful.” “The Divorce Party concept is our way of encouraging people to add balance to their lives,” adds Rowe. “Laughter, especially at ourselves, is one of the healthiest things we can do.”

Several other South Florida sponsors, including www.divorce360.com will be supporting the event with discount coupons and products in the free Goodie Gift Bags. Plus the new management at Christopher’s Night Club will be offering “Marriage on the Rocks” drink specials, discounted Heinekens beer and a Ladies Drink Free promotion from 9:30 to 11:30!

If you live in the South Florida area, come out and join us, it is going to be a lot of fun! Sign the VIP Guest List at www.secretsofdivorce.com/divorceparty.html. VIP Guests will save $2 off the $10-at-the-door admission . Christopher’s Night Club is located at 2857 East Oakland Park Blvd. in Ft. Lauderdale.

The Road To Hell-How Divorce Turns Ugly...

The scenario goes something like this. A man is unhappy in his marriage and may even have a mistress on the side. He is looking for a way out of the marriage and doesn't feel his wife deserves half his assets since she doesn't work and stays home with the kids all day. After all, he is the only making the money, he reasons. So he gets on his computer and googles "divorce advice for men". He is then presented with an array of choices to click on , all e-books showing him how he can get over on his wife.

You would surprised at how many websites there are on the web for men promising to teach them how to not pay alimony, child support and how to "protect" their assets during divorce by hiding them, selling them and moving them in to overseas accounts. His buddies think this is a great idea and encourage him. Little does he know that not only are many of these tactics illegal, he is now waging a divorce battle where no one wins. Expect for the divorce lawyers, of course.

The other typical scenario begins with the woman. She is married to a "nice guy"that she no longer finds attractive. She begins an affair and now wants a divorce so she can be with her new love. Thinking her husband is a pushover and will not fight back, she hires a snake of an attorney and makes unreasonable demands concerning spousal support and the division of assets. She wants everything and is encouraged by her high priced lawyer who knows that the longer this divorce is drawn out ,the more money he will make. Her husband is forced to fight back and the couple journeys down the road to divorce hell.

When a man or woman starts using dirty divorce tactics it backs the other spouse into a corner. They have no choice but to strike back. Now you have two people ,who once loved each other and vowed to spend the rest of their lives together, at each other's throats.

If you use resort to using dirty divorce tactics, I can guarantee that not only will you eventually lose your divorce, you will be turning your divorce into a battlefield and the casualties will be your spouse, your children and yourself. The damage that will be inflicted will be impossible to repair. Stop and think with your heart and not your emotions.

Do you really want to destroy your soon to be ex? Or can you calm down and do what is best for your family? Hiring a good mediator or collaborate divorce lawyer will save you money and heartache. Remember, when their is bitterness and fighting during a divorce, the only one who wins is the lawyers. You and your spouse are left poorer, emotionally battered and enemies for life. You owe it to your children and each other to try and work things out as peacefully as possible.

Success Is The Best Revenge-A Scorned Woman's Last Laugh...

Angie Schmidt was a happily married woman with a new home, thriving business and a new friend, her next door neighbor. Life was good. That was until her husband began an affair with Katie, the woman next door. She was horrified to discover that her new friend and her husband were lovers. In her state of shock, she even briefly considered suicide.

But instead of taking her life, Angie made a decision. She decided that success is the best revenge and started a new online boutique instead. She named it "Smashing Katie". At her new online breakup boutique, you can get the tools you need to help you cope with your divorce. At www.smashingkatie.com you can find an array of interesting items designed to make you feel better after a breakup and even laugh too.

If you are feeling angry, try the "Ex Knife Block Set" or let off some steam and vent with the "Things You Do That Piss Me Off" pad. There is also the "Get Back Out There Breakup Care Package" and the" Eat, Bitch & Wine Cookbook".

The site is filled with funny, clever items that are the perfect pick me up when you are feeling down. Angie has turned lemons into lemonade and now has an exciting new business that helps other people get over their own breakups. Can you turn your pain into profit? Remember, being successful and happy is the best revenge. Let Angie's story inspire you to pick yourself up and get moving. You have a gift to share and a success story waiting to be told. Follow your passion and find something to do that you love. By focusing on something new and positive in your life, the pain from your divorce will soon become a distant memory.

Deadbeat Moms On The Rise...

I often write about deadbeat dads and the child support crisis we have in this country, with billions of dollars in back child support being owed to many children. Statistically there have been more fathers who refuse to support their kids than mothers, but now more mothers are becoming "deadbeats" too.

One mother has left her kids and fled to Hawaii. She lives in a lavish town house with her boyfriend and drives his luxury cars, including a Porsche and a Lexus. she currently owes $12,000 in back support. Another mother is on the top of Mississippi's Ten Most Wanted list for failing to pay more than $45,000 in child support.

I could never understand how a father could turn his back on his kids, but for some reason it is even more horrifying when a mom does it. Mothers are supposed to have maternal instincts, they sacrifice for their children, not abandon them. The rise in deadbeat moms is frightening. I guess this was inevitable with more men gaining custody of the children during divorce.

Both mothers and fathers must understand that when you become a parent you are financially responsible for them. You can't refuse pay child support because you are angry at your ex, think you deserve joint custody or feel your do not make enough money. The kids must come first, before your own needs. You brought your kids into this world and as a parent you are responsible. My advice to deadbeat parents is this: Grow up, stop whining and stop being so selfish. Start paying your child support and become someone your kids can be proud of.

Find out how to protect yourself financially during your divorce....

Want To Save Your Marriage? Try The 30 Day Sex Challenge..

A Florida pastor has presented this unusual challenge to his congregation. He wants to lower the 50% divorce rate in the U.S. by having couples participate in a 30 day sex challenge. Relevant Church head pastor Paul Wirth thinks this will reduce couples chances for divorce. Men who are reading this are most likely thrilled with the pastor's advice, where I am sure many women are thinking "you got to be kidding me".

It does sounds quite shocking that a pastor would advise his church to have sex, but I think the pastor may have a point. Couples that are intimate are naturally closer and probably get along better.

I think this 30 day challenge can work for couples who may be dissatisfied with their marriage and haven't been communicating well. By becoming intimate again, they will strengthen their martial bond and may rediscover why they were attracted to each other in the first place.

However, if a couple is having serious martial issues, I don't think 30 days of sex is advisable. Therapy would be a better option. There is going to be resentment and deep rooted anger that needs to be addressed in couples heading for a divorce. When you are feeling angry with your spouse, the last thing you want to do is have sex with him. Before a couple can get their love life back on track, they should try professional counseling.

Would You Get Divorced On A Reality Show?...

Thanks to a new T.V. show called "Splitsville" you will soon have that option. "Splitsville" is being described as "The War of the Roses" meets "Let's Make a Deal,"It is a game show where divorcing couples will go through a series of competitive challenges for their own assets.

I think this is crazy. I have not seen this show yet, but from what I have heard so far, I think is is exploiting divorcing couples. Having a couple battle for their own assets on a national TV show, in front of millions of people is repulsive. Can you imagine what the children of these couples will think? Children are often ashamed when their parents get a divorce, now everyone in their school and neighborhood can watch their parents on TV fighting.

I will reserve my final judgment of this show when I see it but I cannot possibly see how this can be a positive solution for divorcing couples. Our divorce courts are filled with divorcing couples going through long, expensive, heartbreaking divorces. Encouraging couples to "fight" on TV can only have negative consequences.

Cheating Husband Syndrome...

You would think that when a husband cheats on his wife, he would feel guilt and remorse. When confronting a cheating husband you would expect tears, apologies and begs for forgiveness from him. But often the opposite happens. A cheater who is caught red handed turns on his wife and becomes mean, nasty and confrontational. He blames her for forcing him to look elsewhere for affection. By attacking her, he eases his guilt and justifies his actions.

Many women, who confront their husbands about an affair, are shocked when their husbands display anger and indifference instead of remorse. Since women tend to blame themselves when things go wrong, many women will spend time wondering what they did to cause the affair. They agonize over what they might of done to drive their husbands into the arms of another woman. They beat themselves up, analyzing what they could of done differently to prevent the affair.

But what these women need to understand is that there was nothing they could of done. Their husband made a choice. That choice was made freely. If the husband was feeling unhappy in his marriage, he should of confronted his wife and dealt with the issues instead of choosing to become involved with another woman.

If your husband has cheated, do not blame yourself. His infidelity is not your fault. You are not responsible for another person's actions, only your own. Sometimes, as crazy as it may sound, an affair can be a gift. You now know what kind of person you are married to. A man who blames his wife for his infidelity is a coward.This is a person who cannot be trusted, a man who is immature and selfish. You have a choice to make. You can either stay married to a man that you cannot trust or you can start over and rebuild your life by surrounding yourself with positive, trustworthy people. Remember you cannot fix or change your husband, you can only change yourself.

Discover the secrets to a successful divorce.....

Can you trust the Government to collect your child support?...

In Oregon, a department of justice employee and her fiance are being accused of stealing from single parents by devising a scheme that enables them to collect unclaimed child support payments. These two stole thousands from the very families who need it the most. How tragic.

This is a rare incident and I don't think people should panic and not
utilize the services of local state child support enforcement agencies.
But it should serve as a wake up call to parents to stay diligent and
frequently check with support officials about child support payments.

Here are three tips for working with your local child support enforcement agency:

1. Be persistent. These agencies are overloaded with cases and do not have enough case workers to handle them all. You need to make frequent calls and keep after them to collect any unpaid child support due you. . Do not give up! The biggest complaint I hear about from frustrated parents who cannot collect child support is that they can't get someone on the phone at the agency. Keep calling. Call every day if you have to. Ask to speak to supervisors.

When my ex switched jobs, the child support agency stopped garnishing his wages. I called and found out that it was his employer who was not complying with the order and taking the money out of his pay. The agency explained that they sent several letters to his employer, trying to get them to cooperate. I took it one step further and called the human resource department at his job. I told them that by not withholding my ex-husband's wages, as directed by the court, they were breaking the law and I would hold them accountable. Soon after they began withholding his wages.

2. Provide information. Make sure to update your case worker frequently with any
information you may have about your ex. If you find out your ex had changed jobs, moved or any other information that could affect your case, be sure to inform the agency.

3. Check deposit amounts for accuracy. If you receive support payments by direct deposit, check or if the support is issued via a bank card, make sure to check that the amount is correct and being deposited on a regular schedule. If you see a missed payment, do not automatically assume your ex has not paid, it could be an error from the child support agency. Call them and find out.

Find out how to protect yourself financially during your divorce....

Dating After Divorce? Get A Background Check First...

A new service is now available to online daters. Now you have the option to find out about a potential date's history, including marriage and divorce records, criminal records, civil litigation, bankruptcies, and major asset ownership. DateMate puts criminal background, public records, and assets - into one comprehensive report. DateMate is available on US Search.com for $24.95.

It may be reassuring to find out that the new person you met online is not
a criminal, but I find it a little creepy to pry into someone’s private information. Then again, you probably wouldn’t hire a nanny to watch your kids without doing a background check first so why should you date someone without one?

Nowadays, background checks are used routinely for employment, renters and
in some schools you can’t go on your kid’s field trip without a background trip first.

I guess I am torn on this issue. It does seem like a good idea but at the same time
an invasion of privacy. Imagine meeting someone online, falling in love and then telling that person that you went behind their back and investigated them. Maybe the solution is to tell your potential date that you will be checking them out first before meeting them in person? What do you think?

Prenups-Why You Must Have One The Second Time Around...

You may be thinking that after getting a divorce the last thing you are thinking about is getting married again. Surprisingly, many divorced people do remarry within two years of getting a divorce. You would think that if you went though a difficult divorce you would be wise enough to insist on a prenup this time around, but love has a way of clouding one's better judgment and many divorcees enter into a second marriage without the financial protection of a prenuptial agreement.

This is especially unwise considering that second marriages have a higher failure rate. If I ever remarried, I would insist on a prenup, even if my new husband made more money and had more assets than me. Why? Because I will never go through a bitter divorce battle again. It was much too painful. A prenup protects your assets and more importantly leaves you will nothing to fight over in the event of a divorce. It is all agreed upon ahead of time.

If you feel that prenups are unromantic and that this time is "forever" because you have met your "soul mate", you need to wake up. Yes, a prenup is not something couples who are in love and planning a wedding feel comfortable discussing, but if you did not learn from your own divorce, learn from other people's divorce disasters.

Paul McCartney was so in love with Heather Mills that he didn't ask her to sign a prenup. He also supposedly turned down her offer to sign one. I bet he deeply regrets that decision now that they are involved in a vicious divorce battle for his billion dollar empire. The sad reality is that had these two signed a prenup, there would be no fight, Heather Mills would not have been vilified by the British press and they might have been able to divorce on friendly terms.

If a second marriage is in your future, make a call to your lawyer and discuss your options. Hopefully you will never need it, but having a prenup gives you the peace of mind knowing that you have protected your assets and your future in the event of a second divorce.

Protect Yourself And Prepare For A Divorce...

Last night we were under a tornado watch here in South Florida. Having moved to Florida from NJ last summer, I have never had to prepare for a possible tornado before. The watch turned into a warning several times during the night, forcing my kids, two dogs, and four cats and I to cram under the stairs in the laundry room. A small tornado did touch down about 20 minutes from us, but luckily no one was hurt and there was minimal damage.

I was shocked to hear today that most of my neighbors had slept through
the whole thing. The people I spoke with did not prepare or take any precautions, even
though they knew a tornado was a possibility. Had that tornado been larger and hit our neighborhood, they would have been caught off guard.

I see this kind of lack of preparation from the divorcing women I coach often.
Although the warning signs are there, they do not adequately prepare for a divorce.
It is only after they discover that their husband is hiding assets or lying about how much income he earns, do they realize they made a mistake by not making copies of all of the financial records while they had the chance.

Do not be caught in the storm of divorce. You must prepare. Many people say
they did not see the divorce coming, but usually there are tell tale signs. Trust your intuition.
You need to be able to protect yourself and your children financially in the event of a divorce.

Make copies now, before it is too late. Here is what you need to gather:

Make copies of your spouse’s pay stubs for the past eight weeks.

Make copies of your joint tax returns for the past five years.

Copy all bank statements and documentation of stock accounts, IRAs, and pension plans.

Make copies of all of your monthly bills over the past three months. These should include mortgage statements, rent payments, utility bills, car payments, insurance premiums, children’s expenses, medical expenses, and credit card statements.

Copy deeds to any properties owned jointly or in your spouse’s name.

Copy documents relating to any investments. These should include stocks, bonds, real estate, and any corporations or businesses owned in any part by you and your spouse.

Make a list of all collectibles, jewelry and other valuables. Photograph or videotape these items. Also list all furnishings and take pictures of these as well.

Discover how to secure your financial outcome during a divorce...

How To Be Your Own Valentine This Year...

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, you may be feeling a little
down. After all this holiday of "love" is a painful reminder of love gone
wrong, especially if you are recently single. There has been much written
about how to survive this dreaded holiday, but here is a relatively new concept: Why not be your own Valentine this year?

Okay, I know it sounds corny. But think about it, if you don't love and accept
yourself for who you are, can you really accept others to do the same?

The experience of divorce has most definitely changed you and forced you to grow and mature in ways you never thought possible. Can you learn from the pain of divorce and use the lessons it has taught to look inward and starting respecting and loving yourself?

Instead of beating yourself up, thinking negative thoughts and indulging in self-blame,
start thinking about all of your good qualities. I know it is not easy, we are conditioned
to play down our strengths and highlight our weaknesses. But try this. Take a rubber band
and for the next several days wear it on your wrist. Every time you have a negative
thought, pull the rubber band and give yourself a zap. It will literally "snap" you out of your self-defeating thoughts.

Next, make a list of all of your positive attributes. Read them every night before you go to bed. Then finally, on Valentine's Day, buy yourself a present. A big box of chocolate and some champagne, a dozen roses, or a stuffed teddy bear.

Become your own best friend and start enjoying being by yourself. A funny thing
may happen. Because like attracts like, once you start loving yourself and treating yourself well, you may attract someone who does the same. Who knows, you might just have that special someone to spend next Valentine’s Day with.

Parents Who Use Their Children As Weapons during Divorce...

We are all aware of how children get caught in the middle during
divorce. Well meaning parents with good intentions sometimes make
errors. When a parent is in the throes of a divorce, it is struggle
to control one's own emotions. Knowing the right things to say to
your kids can be a challenge.

But some parents, who are filled with hatred and rage, purposely
use their kids as weapons against the other parent. The official term for
this is Parental Alienation.

Parental Alienation is is when parents repeatedly speak negatively about the other parent to a child or interfere with communication between a parent and child. Also, sharing inappropriate information, such as details of the marriage and divorce with a child, can leave children confused, angry, and frightened. The relationship between the child and the alienated parent often becomes strained.

Why would a parent act this way? These parents are so hurt and angry that the only way they feel they can gain control of the ex who hurt them is through the kids. Blinded by anger and in deep emotional pain, the needs of their children are put aside and they will do anything to ease the pain they feel inside. Hurting the other parent by destroying his or her relationship with the children satisfies their need for revenge.

If you are about to get a divorce or in the middle of one now you may be reading this and thinking that you would never do anything to hurt your childrens’s relationship with their other parent. But emotions sometimes get the best of us and you may slip up and find yourself saying
something negative about your ex. Or you might try to explain the divorce to your child and accidentally give away too much information.

No one is perfect. The key is to remember that no matter how much you resent your ex, the issue is between the two of you, not the kids. Fostering a healthy relationship between your ex and your kids will help your kids grow up to be healthy, well adjusted adults.

Should You Take Time Off Of Work For A Broken Heart?...

A Japanese marketing company has found an innovative solution to the broken heart. They give their employees paid time off after a break up. Tokyo-based Hime & Company, which also gives staff paid time off to hit the shops during sales season, says "heartache leave" allows staff to cry themselves out and return to work refreshed.

The rules for "heartache leave" at the Japanese company are as follows: Employees 24 years or younger can take one day off per year, while those between 25 and 29 can take two days off and those older can take three days off. They feel it is takes longer to mend from a broken heart as you age.

What a company! Imagine if all companies offered this kind of program to people going through a divorce. It may sound outrageous and a little bit odd, but if you think about, how productive can a person really be at work if they are emotionally devastated and can barely hold themselves together?

Even if "heartache leave" does not catch on in the U.S., it may be good idea to take a day or two off of work in the initial stages of a divorce. Especially if your divorce comes as a surprise and is unexpected. Going to work while you are in a state of shock and emotionally impaired can even be dangerous depending on the kind of work you do. Would you want your doctor performing an operation or administering medicines when his or her mind is not clear and focused?

I used to own a salon years ago. I remember when one of the hairdressers was dumped by his boyfriend. He spent the entire day teary eyed and then proceeded to give a client a crooked haircut. Maybe he should have taken the day off.

When someone dies you take off time to grieve. A divorce is the death of your marriage and taking a few days off to emotionally recover is a good idea. A broken heart is a good excuse to use a few sick days. Just make sure to spend the time off doing something that helps you heal, like talking to a therapist or a good friend, getting a massage or a pedicure or just staying in bed for a few days and crying your eyes out, releasing all of that pent up emotion you feel inside.

Discover the secrets to a successful divorce for women....

Deadbeat Dad Runs For Office

I could not believe this story when I read that a Chicago man, who allegedly owes more than $82,000 in back child support, is running as a candidate
for Ward 47 Republican Committeeman in Chicago.

Gary Karlin disappeared 14 years ago, abandoning his young daughter. His ex-wife has been trying to locate him ever since. Imagine her shock when she googled his name and found him running for office as a "conservative".

This man should be arrested and barred from running for public office. How can someone who has broken the law expect to represent the people of his state? How sad for his daughter, now 16 years old, to see the father who has neglected and ignored her, make a mockery of the judicial system.

You have to wonder what someone like this is thinking. Recently, another deadbeat decided to protest his favorite's sports teams losing streak by camping out on the roof of a local bar and vowing not to come down until his team won. He basked in the media attention and was featured on TV. To his suprise, his ex-wife recoginzed him and reported him to the police. He was escorted off of the roof and arrested.

There needs to be tougher laws to catch these deadbeats who slip through the cracks and are allowed to amass tens of thousands of dollars in back support. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for a custodial parent to locate a parent who uses sneaky tactics to avoid paying support. These parents have no assets in their names, no bank accounts to seize and no wages to garnish. They stay one step ahead of the law, that is until their ego gets the best of them and they do something stupid like run for public office or go on television. More resources need to be allotted to investigating and apprehending these deadbeats.

Using Humor To Heal During Divorce...

Sometimes when you are going through a tough time, you can use a good laugh. Divorce is one of those times when you can use all of the humor you can get. Divorce is not a funny issue, yet we can still find humorous moments.

We need to keep our spirits lifted and have faith that although we may be going through one of the most difficult times of our lives, life will get better. Using laughter and humor can be therapeutic. When are at your lowest, go out and rent a funny movie or get together with your girlfriends for a girl's night out and share some laughs. Try to look for the humor in your daily life. Kids say the funniest things and pets have a way of making us smile with their antics. Stay in the moment and enjoy these times when they present themselves. It is often too easy to be focused 24/7 on your divorce without letting your mind take a break.

Here are a few funny jokes I found while searching the web that will cheer you up during a divorce (all of the authors are unknown):

1. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

2. A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95 ....'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ....'Barbie goes shopping' for $19.95 ....'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95 ....'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ....and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00". "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95"? Dad asked surprised. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

3. Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we’re incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole."

4. For Sale: wedding dress, size 12.Worn once by mistake

5. She was a great housekeeper, too. When we divorced, she kept the house.

Should You Keep Your Married Name After A Divorce?

One issue often overlooked during a divorce, is whether or not to keep your married last name. I remember my lawyer asking me if I wanted to continue to use my married name during a divorce hearing. It was honestly something I hadn’t given much thought to at the time. With all of the divorce drama going on, it had slipped my mind that I had the option to revert back to my maiden name.

I initially decided to return to my maiden name and asked for it to be changed at my final divorce hearing. But then something strange happened. As the months passed, I continued to use my married last name, putting off changing my driver's license and credit cards. Something just did not feel right about changing my name back to the name I once used long ago. I felt like I wasn’t that person anymore, yet I also did not feel comfortable using my married last name. I certainly was not the same person who used that name either.

In the end I decided to give myself a new last name. One that I choose. I shortened my married last name and gave myself a brand new identity. I went to court and legally changed my name. It felt right and it was empowering to begin my new life after divorce with my own chosen identity, not the name I was born with and not the name I got from being married.

There are several issues to consider when deciding whether or not to keep your married name after a divorce. Here are few:

1. Your children. Do you want to avoid confusion at school by keeping the same last name as your kids?

2. Paperwork. Changing your name means changing your driver's license, bank accounts, credit cards and countless other documents. Expect to spend time and energy taking care of this.

3. Have you established yourself professionally with your married name? If so you may not want to change it.

In the end, make sure it is your own decision to change or not change your last name. Don't give into pressure from your ex, who may object to you using your married name. It is perfectly legal to continue to use your married name after a divorce. If you no longer wish to use your married name, then make sure you are comfortable going back to your maiden name. If not, you may want to do like I did and create your very own new last name.

4 Secrets To Saving Your Marriage...

Divorce might seem like an easy fix, but the ramifications and consequences are serious. Not only will you end a relationship that you have invested years in, other people, like your children are deeply affected. If you are considering divorce, it makes sense, barring any physical or mental abuse, to do everything in your power to try and save your marriage. If it is your spouse who wants the divorce, you may be facing an uphill battle, but if saving your marriage is something you desire, it is worth attempting.

Here is a four step blueprint, based on the principles of the law of attraction, to help get your marriage and your life back on track:

1.Change yourself first. This may seem radical, but if you want to see changes in your relationship, you must first change yourself, not your spouse. The only person you are in control of is you. Wishing hoping, pleading and begging will not turn your spouse into the person you desire him to be. Take some time to do some inner work and clear up issues in yourself that are preventing you from being happy. Remember the qualities and traits that annoy and bother you in others are issues in yourself that need healing. Start by making a list of everything your spouse does to drive you crazy. Then consider if you are guilty of any of those sins yourself. You may be shocked and what you find. Does your spouse withhold affection? Think of a time in your life where you withheld affection from someone. Does your spouse lose his temper quickly? Again, look and see if there are times in your life where you are short tempered or maybe times when you feel angry and repress your emotions. Going through this list, without self-blame, but with the intent to heal yourself first, can be life changing.

2. How do you want your marriage to be? What does an "ideal" marriage look like? Spend some time visualizing the perfect marriage. See it, feel it and experience it like it was really happening. Feel the joy and love you get from sharing your life with a partner who loves and respects you.

3. Make a list of all of the qualities you wish your spouse had. List everything. Maybe you want him to be more attentive, loving, spontaneous and exciting . Now take that same list and start becoming that person. Become more attentive,loving, spontaneous and exciting. You may be reading this and feel skeptical and maybe even a little angry.After all, it is not your fault your spouse acts the way he does. But just try it. It can't hurt and you will feel better about yourself no matter what the end result is.

4. Let go of how you think your marriage should be. Release all expectations. Concentrate on yourself and creating a life you enjoy. Whether or not your spouse changes is not important. Spend your energy on becoming the best person you can be. Find a hobby or passion that excites you. Join a group of fun loving people and start getting out more. Take action and control of your life

.
After following these steps your spouse may or may not change, but one thing is for certain, you will have changed for the better. This will strengthen and prepare you for whatever lies ahead. If your marriage is saved, that would be wonderful, if not you will emerge a stronger, more confident and self assured person, ready for whatever life hands you.

If you would like to find out how to use the law of attraction to change your life, I recommend reading The Attractor Factor and The Key both by Joe Vitale. Seat Of The Soul author Gary Zukav has many great books that will help inspire you and change your life for the better as well.

The 5 Worst Celebrity Husbands And Fathers...

1. Hulk Hogan-Sneaky Hulk Hogan is being accused of trying to trying to trick his wife, Linda, into signing a post-nuptial agreement and hiding millions that were made in a real estate transaction. He also has said that his"ex-wife can support herself". Not very nice considering he was married to his wife for over 20 years, while she stayed at home with the kids so he could advance his wrestling career.

2. Eddie Murphy- Eddie has separated from his new "wife"Tracey Edmonds, after only 2 weeks of marriage. Apparently their marriage was not legal. Let's also not forget how Eddie denied he was the father of Spice Girl, Melanie Brown's baby and reportedly has never met his child, even after a paternity test proved he was the baby girl's father. What a shame that the star of "Daddy Daycare" is a deadbeat dad.

3. Charlie Sheen. This insensitive jerk allegedly emailed his ex-wife, Denise Richards the following message:"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [expletive] yourself, sad, jobless pig." What a nice guy. No wonder he has court ordered, supervised visits with his two young daughters.

4. Alec Baldwin- Who can forgot Alec's vicious rant on his 11 year old daughter's cell phone last summer. If he can call his daughter a ""a thoughtless, rude little pig" you can only imagine the emotional abuse he might of inflicted on Kim Basinger while they were married.

5.Peter Cook- Ex-husband of Christie Brinkley. This man was married to one of the most beautiful women in the world and cheated on her with his teen assistant. What was he thinking? It is unsettling to think that a man in his mid forties would have an affair with a 19 year old, especially when his own step daughter, Alexa Joel, was around the same age.

Should Lifetime Alimony Be Banned?

"Mass Alimony Reform" will address the Joint Committee of the Judiciary in Massachusetts and challenge the current laws on the books that allow for lifetime alimony. It is interesting to note that the majority of the residents that are scheduled to address the committee regarding alimony reform are women. They are the second wives of husbands who once divorced.

These women feel that they are forced to "share the expense of providing living and other expenses for their present husband's first wives who are unwilling to support themselves".

This is unbelievable. Did these women know when they married their husbands that their husband had to make alimony payments? Now they are upset that they have to "share"their husband's income with the first wife? Give me a break, did these women ever stop to think that maybe the first wife was awarded lifetime alimony for a reason?

Lifetime alimony is usually awarded in most states when a marriage is over 20 years in length and the spouse receiving the alimony was either a stay at home parent during the marriage or made a significantly lower income than their spouse. Does staying at home raising children and giving up your career not count for financial compensation after a divorce? The women who gave up careers to raise families while their husbands advanced in their careers are at a great disadvantage after divorce. That is why we have alimony.

When you date and marry a divorced man you should know what you are getting into. It irks me when the "new" wife gets upset that her husband has to support the first family he created. You cannot expect to marry a man who has financial obligations to his ex-wife and children and not feel the financial repercussions on your own family. If a man who has been ordered by the court to pay alimony to his ex-wife cannot afford to due so, he has no business getting married again and starting a new family.

Do Couples Who Go To The Bathroom Together, Stay Together?..

A company who has invented the "TwoDaLoo - A Supertoilet That Saves Rocky Marriages and The Planet" seems to think so. According to the manufacturer's website "It brings couples closer together and conserves our water supply all with one flush. The TwoDaLoo features two side-by-side toilet seats with a modest privacy wall in between. An upgraded version includes a seven inch LCD television and iPod docking station". For a mere $1,400 you too can own a love toilet for two.

But why would you want to? If your marriage is on the rocks the last thing you would want to do is start going to the bathroom together. How horribly unromantic and disgusting. A person's bathroom activities should remain private. Couples usually start fighting because of too much together time and not enough personal space. This crazy product will probably cause more divorces. It is amusing and better left as an entertaining story than something someone would actually go out and purchase.

The Top 5 Songs To Cheer You Up During A Divorce...

Going through a divorce can be an emotional roller coaster, some days you feel sad and other days you feel angry. Listening to music can be a great way to lift your spirits. Here are 5 breakup songs that will empower you, make you feel better and help you move on.

1. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. Best line: "Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye, Did I crumble ,Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I, I will survive"

2. Fighter by Christina Aguilera-Best line"'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now, And never back down ,So I wanna say thank you"

3. Survivor by Destiny's Child-Best line: "Now that you are out of my life, I'm so much better, You thought that I'd be weak without ya, But I'm stronger, You thought that I'd be broke without ya, But I'm richer, You thought that I'd be sad without ya, I laugh harder"

4. Strong Enough by Cher- Best Line: "I'm strong enough To live without you, Strong enough and I quit crying, Long enough, now I'm strong enough To know ,you gotta go"

5. Good Bye To You-Scandal-Best Line: "Could I have loved someone like the one I see in you, I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too, These last few weeks of holdin' on, The days are dull, the nights are long ,Guess it's better to say "Goodbye To You"

Postnuptial Agreements Becoming Popular....

So what is a post nuptial agreement? We are all familiar with prenupitial agreements, but a postnup? A post-nuptial agreement is is a contract that is signed after marriage that divides a family’s assets between spouses. It seems that these agreements are on the rise. A poll published this year by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that almost half its members had seen an increase in the practice.

Why would anyone want to sign one of these? The reasons may surprise you. Here is one scenario. A couple gets a postnup when their marriage is in trouble. If a spouse has committed adultery, he offers the postnup as a way to ensure his wife will be financially protected should they divorce, thus increasingly the likelihood of her forgiveness. Another reason is when a spouse gets a major promotion and now wants to renegotiate the terms of a prenuptial agreement. A more unusual reason is that hedge funds and other high-value equity partnerships encourage new partners to get postnups. They don't want a divorcing partner's spouse to get part ownership in the firm.

Although a prenuptial agreement can be very beneficial if a couple decides to divorce, no high cost attorney fees or battling for assets, a post-nuptial agreement sounds ridiculous to me. Can you imagine being married for years, supporting your spouse's career ,and then he comes home one day after getting a promotion at work and asks you to sign a postnup limiting how much money you will receive in a potential divorce? Even worse is your husband having an affair and then offering you assets in exchange for forgiveness.

Can you imagine how many couples will end up getting a divorce because one of them demanded that their spouse sign a postnupitial agreement? I think post-nuptial agreements are just another clever new tool divorce lawyers have in their arsenal to make money off of married couples.