Are Divorced Women Angry, Desperate and Miserable?...

Of course not! But sadly there are some stereotypes out there about female divorcees. We are often cast as angry, bitter women desperate for sex. The term "Cougars" is now being thrown around to describe older women supposedly hunting down young men half their age.

Funny how I have not heard any derogatory terms used to coin divorced men. When a man gets divorced and starts dating a girl young enough to be his daughter, no one seems to notice.

I recently received an email about my book Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce from a woman. Here is what she wrote: "Is there really a secret to a successful divorce? All the single women that I know are miserably single from what they tell me and almost 100% cannot find another man because they become too picky about the type of man that they are looking for."

I coach woman who are going through a divorce and most of the women I speak to are not "miserably single". In fact, many are relieved to be free from a unhappy marriage and excited about what the future holds. Although there may be some women who cannot get past their divorces and choose not to move on, they are the minority.

I think this kind of thinking is a great disservice to women . Most divorced women are raising kids, holding down full time jobs and trying to squeeze in a social life. Believe me, they have no time to be hanging out every weekend in nightclubs picking up young men in their 20's.

I think the stereotypes and myths about divorced women may stem from some people's inability to accept that women today can survive without a man. No longer are we destined to marry and stay in a miserable marriage, giving up our self worth. We can stand on our own, be successful and choose whether or not we want a man in our lives.

Things You Can Do With Your Wedding Ring After Divorce

An innovative New York woman has come up with a creative way to store your wedding ring after divorce. She makes little coffins for wedding rings. At weddingringcoffin.com, for $30 to $35 you can buy miniature, solid-wood coffins with a mahogany finish, velvet interior and a lid allowing for an open or closed casket. The coffins also come with an engraved brass plaque with such messages as: "Bury the past and move on" or "Six feet isn't deep enough!

I find this to be amusing, but I rather get some use out of my wedding ring than have it collect dust in a "coffin". What I want to do with my ring is have it redesigned into a cocktail ring and call it my "Freedom Ring". This way every time I wear it I will be reminded of how my life has changed for the better, after my divorce, just like the ring. Instead of burying our rings, we can redesign them, just like we are redesigning our new lives.

Of course if it will give you satisfaction and relief to flush your ring down the toilet, or throw it out the window, go ahead. You may need to release your anger and getting rid of the ring may the therapy you need. Another more practical option would be just to sell it. Then take the money and treat yourself to a trip, new clothes or something else you have been wanting. Preferably something your ex would have not approved of during your marriage.

Whatever you decide to do with your wedding ring after your divorce, have fun and keep a sense of humor. The ring is a symbol of your former life. Although it may be painful to let go of the past, by letting go of your wedding ring you are paving the way for a new and exciting life.

Depression And Divorce

Divorce stirs up many negative emotions. Especially in the beginning of a divorce, when you are in a state of shock. Next is usually a period of anger and that is followed by sadness and loss. Acceptance comes much later, and for some people never comes at all.

Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, you probably will feel down at times. If your spouse has asked for a divorce, your emotions can run the gamut from anger to depression. Especially if the reason for the break up was an affair or the divorce was completely unexpected.

Recently we heard of actor Owen Wilson's tragic suicide attempt. Although drug use and depression are rumored to be the cause, his recent breakup with actress Kate Hudson might also play a role.

How a person reacts to the end of a relationship or a marriage depends on the person's state of mind before the breakup and the circumstances surrounding it. Feelings of depression, listlessness, loss of appetite and just not wanting to face another day can become serious. It can be perfectly normal for someone experiencing a divorce to go through a temporary stage of mild depression. If it continues for more than a few months or if you have thoughts of suicide, you need to get professional help immediately.

Remember, divorce is a life altering event. Your life had been turned upside down and there are many conflicting feelings you will experience. Make sure to take the time to go through the stages of grief,just as you would do mourning the death of a loved one. You are in fact, mourning the death of you marriage, the death of your plans for the future and the life you once knew.

Although depression can be common during divorce, take care of your emotional and physical health and make sure to seek help when needed.