My ex-husband, a reformed deadbeat dad, who spent a month in jail for not paying child support is now dating a woman with 3 kids whose ex-husband is a deadbeat. He told me that his girlfriend's ex is a "scumbag".
The irony of this situation did not escape me. My ex even bought groceries for his girlfriend's family since she was left with no money to feed her children. My ex has been current on his child support payments for several years now, so he has learned his lesson. I just thought it was ironic
that he was once a deadbeat and now is helping a single mom whose ex does not pay child support.
I am actually thrilled to see that he is acting more like the man he once was. The man I married was generous and caring. During the divorce, I did not know who he was. It was like the movie invasion of the body snatchers. The man I knew disappeared and a mean, crazy person had taken over his body. I would have never guessed that he could be capable of not supporting his children for a year. It is good to see him acting kind and generous again.
We often label people (especially our exes) as being bad, but it is really their behavior that is deplorable. Most people do have some seeds of goodness in them. It is difficult to see that goodness when they are acting out and hurting us. It has taken me years to see my ex as anything but a selfish man, but I try to remember how he was before the divorce and some of the good qualities he had. I am happy that he has found someone who seems to bringing out the best in him.