Are You a Divorce Victim?..

Has divorce knocked you down, sapped your energy and left you feeling defeated? Do you feel like giving up and just don't know how much longer you can take the pain?

If so, now is the time to take back control and dig deep down and find your inner strength. Life's greatest challenges can also reveal to us qualities we never thought we had. You can rise above your divorce and not only make it through, but come out on top.

There is always that pivotal moment when you question whether you can go on yet another day. You may feel crushed by grief as you mourn the loss of your marriage and scared about what the future will hold. In that moment you feel like you just don't have the energy to fight anymore. But what you choose in that moment defines the outcome of your divorce. Will it leave you feeling bitter and angry or will you become courageous and brave?

I remember during my own divorce when the world seemed to be crashing down around me. My father died suddenly at 59 years old, my ex refused to pay child support and alimony and I was receiving foreclosure notices on my home. My ex also filed a phony restraining order against me. To make matters even worse, he was fighting me tooth and nail for control of the salon we owned and then without warning half of all of my employees walked out, taking half of the salon's customer's with them to the salon across the street.( Ironically to the salon where my ex-husband was close friends with the owner. I guess he figured if he couldn't have the business, he would make sure I wouldn't have it either.)

I went through months of overwhelming stress and then I felt like I snapped one day. I did not want to get out of bed. I felt defeated and just didn't care anymore. But then something happened. One employee, who had remained loyal to me and stayed, said the words that turned everything around. He said he would help me rebuild the business, that together we would make the salon better than before. In that moment, I felt a wave of hope, a new energy took over me and I vowed not to give up.

I had a mission now. When my former employees spread rumors throughout the town that my salon was going out of business, it brought out my fighting spirit even more. I spent the next few months looking for new employees, and by miracle, 5 hairdressers from another neighboring salon came to work for me, bringing more clients than before.

The icing on the cake came when I put a large ad in the local newspaper with all of my new employees pictures, welcoming them to the salon. You can be sure my ex and the salon that counted on me going out of business were not pleased. It was sweet revenge. I was able to rebuild the business and sell it a year and half later and the salon is now the busiest salon in town, a thorn in the side of the salon owner who tried to destroy my business with my ex.

I share this story because no matter how overwhelming your divorce may seem to you now, there is always hope. You can either become a victim of your divorce or not. It is up to you. Things have a way of turning out for the best with time. Stay in the game and don't give up.