When The Divorce Never Ends....

Did you hear about the woman in Florida who has been going through a divorce for 13 years and has been through 16 lawyers and 10 judges? Sounds unbelievable, but unfortunately it is true. Even though she was awarded $240,000 and $6,000 a month in alimony and attorney fees, she has only been able to get $162,000 of that, half of which the lawyers took and the rest went to martial debt. Now Marlene Forland is on public assistance and living with her mother.

Ms. Forland continues to fight for justice and force her ex-husband, who has eluded the law by moving out of state, to pay up. What I wonder is how much has this divorce case actually cost this woman emotionally? I cannot fathom fighting a divorce case for 13 years. My own divorce battle lasted 18 months and that was more than enough.

Maybe it is time for her to let go. Yes, it is not fair. Her ex should not get away with dodging a court order and leaving his ex-wife destitute. But what if Ms. Forland decided to put all of her energy into herself and rebuilding her life? What if her focus switched to starting a business or going back to school so she could get off public assistance? I am not judging her in anyway and can completely understand her outrage and frustration. The problem is that she is caught in a web of negative energy fighting in a legal system that only benefits the lawyers. The more she fights, the higher her legal fees.

Even the judge in the case recently said, “Even if I rule 100 percent in your favor, I’m just going to add another piece of paper [to your casefile] — the next page of Volume 13.”

If she could emotionally detach herself from this and release her anger at this injustice, she might be able to create a new life without focusing everyday on how to get her ex to pay. I have a feeling this man will get what he deserves in the end, anyway. "What goes around , comes around" and someone who flees the state and goes into hiding to avoid paying their ex alimony cannot be attracting good things into his life.

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