Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Truth About How Divorce Affects The Children

This morning, I was on The Morning Show with Mike And Juliet" on the Fox Network. The show was about how divorce negatively affects children. My children were interviewed and I was surprised at how my divorce is still affecting them even though the divorce has been final for over two years.

I agreed to do this show to help other people out there who are going through a difficult divorce and are concerned that their kids are caught in the middle. In my situation, I am dealing with an uncooperative ex-husband who refuses to co-parent in a healthy way.

What I learned from this experience today was that even though I and dealing with someone who pushes my buttons and loves conflict, I have to figure out a better way to protect my kids. A key issue I have been dealing with is that my ex smokes in front of my children even though it is forbidden in our divorce order.

This summer he fell asleep with a lit cigarette in his hand and it was burning the carpet while he had my kids at his house for his weekend visitation. My son called me and told what happened and I was furious. I confronted him, but he then proceeded to take it out on my son, angry that he had "snitched" and told me. As upset as I was , I should of waited until the kids were home with me before confronting him.

As divorced parents, we love and want to protect our kids, so it is so heartbreaking when we inadvertently make mistakes during our divorce that can hurt them. We try our best, but sometimes it is just not good enough. After all, we are only human. So if you are like me and struggling to co-parent after a divorce , give yourself a break, take a step back and honestly look at what actions you might be able to take to minimize the damage to your kids during your divorce.

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