Thursday, December 11, 2008


What Would You Have Done Differently During Your Divorce?...
If your divorce is over, do you ever find yourself wondering what you could of done differently? Something that may of helped the process go more quickly and smoothly? Do you have any regrets?
I was recently asked this question and my first reaction was that since my ex refused to pay child support and spousal support during our divorce and felt that I deserved nothing, I had no choice but to fight back. I had 4 children, a house with a mortgage and little money coming in. Everything was at stake. I was dealing with an irrational person at the time who refused to settle our divorce fairly.
On second thought, however, I do feel that there was one area during my divorce where I could have handled myself better and that is with my children. Although I tried my best at the time to protect them, they still were caught in the cross fire and suffered as a result.. I do regret confiding in my 17 year old daughter at the time. Even though she was a young adult, I think she took on too much responsibility at too young of an age. If I had to do it over, I would have told her less and not relied on her so much.
I am sure most parents feel guilty about getting divorced and the effect it has on the kids. We are just so unprepared to deal with the ugliness and pain that divorce can cause. We have a hard time keeping ourselves emotionally stable so it is no wonder that we are ill prepared to deal with our children's emotions and help them cope with the divorce.
So do you wish you could have done anything differently during your divorce? If so, what would you have changed? Hopefully, those who are still in the divorce process or thinking about getting a divorce will read your comments and gain some insight from someone who has already been in their shoes.

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