How an Affair Can Shatter Your Self-Esteem...

Finding out your husband has cheated can be devastating to your self-worth and self-esteem. You torture yourself with thoughts of not being attractive enough, not being thin enough, smart enough, etc. Your brain comes up with all sorts of scenarios of what you could of or should of done differently in the marriage. These kinds of thoughts plummet your self-esteem and leave you feeling sad, hurt and depressed, sometimes feeling like you will never be loved again.

In many cases, your husband may have been emotional abusive in the marriage and called you names and even may blame you for his affair. So how can you even begin to recover emotionally from your spouse's affair, when you have become your own worst enemy and deep down don't believe you deserve to be loved?

The first thing you need to do is start changing your thoughts. When the negative chatter in your head starts, you need to counter it with a positive thought. It would be unrealistic to expect yourself to go from feeling depressed to hopeful all at once, so you must take small, baby steps to regaining your self-worth again.

For example, the next time you start thinking about the affair and how unattractive you must be for your husband to have cheated, change that thought to "Many of the world's most beautiful women, like Halle Berry and Christie Brinkley have been cheated on too. Attractiveness has nothing to so with why a man cheats". That thought feels alot better than "I am am fat and homely and that is why my husband cheated".

You may want to write down every negative belief you have about your husband's affair. List them all. Then replace each one, in writing, with a more positive one. Look at that list every day until you begin to feel better.

The worst thing you can do is to stay home and think about the affair all day long. Grab your girlfriends, get dressed up and go out for a ladies night out. Allow yourself to flirt and notice the positive male attention you receive. This can do wonders for your self-esteem. An innocent night out with your friends can lift your spirits and make you feel attractive again.

The key is to start doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Focus on your strengths and talents. Maybe there is a hobby or sport you are good at that you can take up again? Anything you can do to boost your self-esteem and self-worth will help you through this difficult time.