Friday, August 29, 2008



In a Miserable Marriage but too Afraid to Leave?

Are you suffering in silence in an unhappy marriage but can't seem to bring yourself to leave? If so you are not alone. Many women are stuck in loveless, abusive marriages yet feel paralyzed with fear at the thought of ending the relationship.

Why do women put up with emotional and physical abuse? Why do we look the other way when we find out our spouse is cheating? I think there are several answers. One is self worth. Sadly, many women are brought up to believe that they are not good enough and actually feel they deserve the abuse they experience in their marriages.

Another reason is not wanting to "rock the boat", so to speak. By standing up for themselves, they fear that their husband will leave them and then they will be alone. This is a great fear amongst women. We are so afraid to be without a man to "take care of us". You would think that in this day and age with so many women out earning men in the workplace, women would feel confident about taking care of themselves and their children. But in reality, many women still believe that they cannot make it on their own without a man's support.

If you are in an abusive, loveless marriage and are afraid to leave because you fear being alone, you need to examine if staying in a miserable marriage is better than facing the unknown and reclaiming your dignity and self-respect. It won't be easy at first and yes, it is scary to be on your own. But the benefits of calling your own shots in life and living a life of your own choosing far outweigh the temporary discomfort and fear of leaving a bad marriage.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a single male reader, I am curious how much of this you think is female specific? I think men stay in crummy relationships as well and perhaps more out of fear of being alone stay. Men also suffer from emotional abuse, but obviously not as much physical abuse.

Do you also think these same trends occur for single people who are in dating relationships?

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