When Divorce Turns Deadly

The other day I awoke to the shocking news that a couple was found dead in their car, just a few miles from my home. It seems as though the husband killed his wife and then killed himself. His wife had filed for divorce just 2 months ago in September.

After hearing this dreadful news, it brought back painful memories from my own divorce. My divorce began when my husband of 13 years twisted my arm and threatened to kill me. At that moment I had to make a choice, should I go to the police? Was his threat serious? Sometimes people make threats that do not mean, especially in the heat of anger. But on that day, the look in my husband eyes chilled me to the bone. He had sworn on his late father's grave that he would kill me. I went to the police and got a restraining order.

My neighbor's death, although I have never met her, pains me. So many women, when faced with an abusive husband, may not take threats seriously enough to protect themselves. I coach women who despite threats and violence from their spouse, still put themselves in harm's way.

Here are a few simple rules to follow to protect yourself during a divorce when violence could be a possibility:

1. Never meet your husband alone or allow him in your house after filing for divorce if you have any reason to believe he could become violent.

2. Do not go places alone. Make sure a friend or family member walks you to your car and to your door at home.

3. Get a restraining order. If you have been threatened or abused by your husband, report it to the police.

4. Do not talk to your husband on the phone. If he calls, let him leave a message on your answering machine.

5. When dealing with an abusive spouse, especially after filing for a divorce, be alert and aware at all times. Keep your cell phone handy and programmed to 911. Try not to go out after dark if possible and make sure all doors in your home are locked. If you have received threats and think violence may be imminent, ask someone you trust to stay at your home.

This may feel like extreme measures to take, but consider all of the women who have been assaulted or killed by a dangerous spouse. Laci Peterson most likely never saw it coming, more recently in the news, another Peterson, Stacy, is currently missing and her husband is under suspicion for her disappearance. Take precautions and protect yourself.

An excellent resource I have recently come across is a series of ebooks that teach you how to spot a dangerous man and protect yourself. Click here to find out more information.