Celebrating the Holidays After A Divorce...

As I was putting the decorations on the Christmas tree, I came across two very special ornaments from a Christmas long ago. They were the hand prints of my sons, ages 3 and 4, dipped in paint and pressed upon paper plates, decorated with gold glitter. After marveling how much bigger my boys hands are now, at ages, 13 and 1/2 and 15, I was reminded of the many Christmases before my divorce.

I recalled the many happy Christmas mornings with my ex and four children. If you would asked me back then, I would have never guessed that years later our family would be broken apart, my children's father never to spend Christmas morning with us again.

As joyous as the holidays are, after a divorce, they can also be bittersweet. A divorce forces you to develop new holiday traditions and abandon old ones. Most of the rituals of Christmas at my home are the same. "Santa" presents wrapped in special paper, carefully placed under the tree after the kids have gone to sleep and a plate of cookies and milk with a note written to Santa from my youngest daughter. My husband's job was to drink the milk and eat the cookies making sure to leave a few crumbs behind. It was also his job to take pictures Christmas morning while I helped the kids unwrap the presents. Now these jobs are mine.

The holidays signify the loss of the dreams and traditions you created with your spouse. This time of year forces you to remember what was and will never be again and can bring about a sense of sadness. It is normal to feel this way. The grieving process after a divorce takes time and a part of you, deep down inside,will always be sad for what has been lost.

Each year, as I celebrate the holidays with my children as a single parent,we create new memories and although I will never forget those Christmases with my ex, instead of feelings of loss and sadness, I now remember those Christmases with fondness. A happy day celebrated with my family. It is important to remember that although you and your ex will never celebrate the holidays as a couple again, you can create new memories and new traditions and embrace this new chapter in your life. Try focusing on the positive aspects of your life now and be grateful for your many blessings. By being in the moment and creating new holiday traditions and rituals, you will create new memories that you will remember for a lifetime.