How to Find a New Love for the New Year...

Are you finally ready to meet that someone special? Do you feel you have moved on after your divorce and can now enter into a new relationship, baggage free? You may feel that you are ready, but there a few things you need to do before joining that dating website or getting fixed up on blind dates. Here are three ways to guarantee your next love will be a keeper:

1. Get yourself ready first. If physical appearances are important to you, make sure you look your very best. You say you want someone who is fit and trim? then make sure you lose those extra pounds. Remember, like attracts like.

2. Get rid of unrealistic expectations. You will have a difficult finding someone if you require that your mate be certain height or work in a particular profession. Narrow your "must haves" down to the things that really matter to you and be flexible about the rest.

3. Work on removing your old limiting beliefs and habits. Spend some time analyzing your past relationships and take an objective look at what part you may have played in your breakups. It is not easy to accept responsibility for your divorce, but until you can figure out your part in the breakup, you will bring the same issues into your next relationship. This is about self reflection, not blame, so don't beat yourself up.

One last piece of advice: When searching for your new love this year, remember to take it slow and don't be upset if he or she does not appear right away. You will meet the right person if you do not rush into a new relationship just because you are lonely. Don't waste time dating someone you know, deep down, is not the right person for you.

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

Woman arrested for killing virtual husband...

A woman in Tokyo was so upset about her "divorce" from her online husband, she broke into his account and killed his digital character. If that wasn't strange enough, she was arrested for illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data.

A similar incident took place in August when a Delaware woman plotted a real life abduction of a boyfriend she met on the virtual reality site "Second Life".

Because we spend so much time on the computer and meet people on sites like my space, facebook and virtual gaming websites, we run the risk of confusing the real world with the online world. You can safely meet new friends and potential mates online, but you have to be extremely careful. You never know if you are communicating with a mentally unstable person.

I am sure both of the victims in the above examples had no idea they were playing a virtual reality game with someone who was not in their right mind. Thankfully no one was harmed in these incidents but it is important to protect yourself online and use caution.

Personally, I have met many wonderful people on the Internet and have developed new friendships and business acquaintances, so I don't think you need to be afraid of online relationships, but you should be careful.

The Perils of Dating After Divorce....

It can be scary to be single again after a divorce. It is tough putting yourself out there again and meeting new people. One benefit of marriage, unless your ex was cheating or violent, is knowing you are relatively safe from harm. We hear stories in the news about dates gone wrong, women losing their life savings to con artists and the increased risks of STDs.

One website is even offering a service now that will deliver an "e-card" to a partner informing them that you have an STD! How crazy is that? Can you imagine opening your email and reading "Just wanted to say Hi and by the way, I have an STD, get yourself checked out". Other websites offer background checks so that you can investigate your future dates and make sure they are not criminals.

So should you plan to do background checks and require a clean bill of health for all of your potential dates, post divorce? I think that may be taking it to the extreme. One thing we all have, and it is free, is our intuition. I believe our gut feelings always lead us in the right direction, even though we don't always listen.

Dating after divorce does not have to be frightening. Trust yourself to make the right judgment calls about new people you meet. Always listen to that little voice inside you, the one that warns you when something is not right. Focus on meeting safe, healthy people and you will. Remember, the very thing you fear the most is often what you attract. By being afraid to date and dwelling on what could go wrong, you can almost guarantee that will be your experience. Relax, have fun and enjoy this new chapter in your life.

Dating After Divorce: The Best Online Sites For Dating...

I was recently contacted by a blogger who was willing to share a terrifc article about dating after divorce. I pulled out the top online sites for dating out of her article to share with you here. Click here to read full article,"Dating After Divorce: 50 Tips to Get Back into the Groove" By Alisa Miller
"One of the most popular ways to stay in touch with friends is through social networking sites. With many sites, not only can you keep up with friends you see every day, but you can also follow those who live further away. Some social networking sites also serve as dating sites, too. If you aren’t already familiar with social networking, after a divorce is a great time to discover it–you might be surprised to find so many of your friends already there. Check out some of these sites below".

Facebook. Find your friends on Facebook, then share photos, play games like Scrabulous, and keep up with what’s happening in their lives. Facebook allows you to adjust privacy controls so that you can choose who sees your profile information.
MySpace. Like Facebook, MySpace allows you to connect with friends and stay current with their lives. MySpace offers music on the profiles and you can personalize your page to your liking.
Twitter. If you just want to keep your friends updated and know what they are up to, Twitter allows you to type in a short update that goes out to your friends. If you like getting messages on your phone, have the updates go directly there.
Pownce. Share messages, files, links, and events with your friends on Pownce. Its aesthetically pleasing design earned itself a place in 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks.
Meetup.com. Choose an interest such as knitting, politics, or speaking French and find a group in your area. Meetups usually happen on a specified day of each month.
Classmates.com. Use this site to find old friends from high school, college, the military, and workplaces. You can also connect with people through specific interest groups. This service is free, but to have full access, you will have to buy a subscription.
Reunion.com. Reunion provides the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, family, and lost loves. With a free membership, you can create a profile and search for friends. With a paid subscription, you get other benefits such as finding out who was searching for you and sending messages to other members.
Flickr. Upload your photos and share them with friends and family on this site. Search for people you know or join a special interest group such as people who appreciate black and white photography.
Flixster. This is the social networking site for movie lovers. You can find your friends and share your favorite movies with them. Also, keep updated on the news from the movie world and meet other movie fans.
Last.fm. For music fans, check out Last.fm. Upload music and videos, discover new music, and share your favorites with your friends. You can also find new friends with similar taste in music.
Shelfari. Book lovers will love this site. Create a virtual book shelf of what you’ve read, are currently reading, or want to read and share with your friends. Connect with new friends in groups and share your book shelf on your blog or other social networking sites.
Online Dating
If you were married for more than a handful of years, dating is much different than it was when you were doing it before. Online dating is the most popular way to get out there and find a partner. The following list offers some of the most popular online dating services.
Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Finding New Love After Divorce...

How do you know if you are ready for a serious, committed relationship after going through a divorce? It can be a tricky question and the answer may surprise you.

Many people feel ready to date again after a divorce, but most are not ready to jump back into serious relationship. It is natural to feel lonely after a divorce and want to become intimate once again with someone special, but it takes time to heal emotionally from the breakup of your marriage.

So how do you know if you are really ready to make a commitment to someone new? The answer lies within you. Are you happy on your own? Do you like spending time by yourself and feel generally happy about your life now? If you feel that a new mate would compliment you at this stage in your life, but is not absolutely necessary for your happiness, then you are probably ready for a new relationship.

It may sound paradoxical, but if you are desperate for love and feel incomplete without a partner, it is a clear sign that you need to do some inner work on yourself. Jumping into new relationship at this point will most likely result in a rebound relationship that will not last.
It is difficult to suppress the overwhelming need for companionship and love. But it is a strong indication that you are searching for someone else to complete you when you feel desperate to find a new love.

When you feel content and satisfied with your life and can enjoy your own company, you are a whole person looking for someone to share your life with. Not only do you become very attractive to others, you will find potential new mates gravitating toward you and you will not have to go out searching for them. When we feel needy, unhappy and desperate for love, we only attract the same qualities in others. This increases the likelihood of a disastrous relationship between two people bringing many unresolved past issues to the table. Remember, like attracts like. If you are truly ready to attract an emotionally stable, happy, well rounded person, you must become that person first.

Online Dating After Divorce


Where do you go to meet someone new? Years ago it seemed like singles bars were the only permanent meeting place. They were open every night, but they were also pressure cookers that were often fueled by too much alcohol. Now there is another spot this is always open: the World Wide Web. The Internet provides many interesting options. As online dating has gained popularity it has shown itself to be more convenient than singles bars, with more possibilities as well.

One popular online dating service is Eharmony.com. This dating service makes you fill out a lengthy questionnaire aimed at matching you and a mate. The match is made on the basis of several critical components. I liked E-harmony for several reasons. One was their policy of not posting your information and photo for just anyone to see. Your data is sent only to specific matches.

Another popular site is Match.com. . They seem to have a greater selection of potential dates. At Match.com you can browse and look at available singles’ pictures and profiles. You do the choosing using the posted information. The downside is that everyone can see your photo and information on this site, including people just browsing.

There are also many social networks online where you can meet someone after a divorce. My space is no longer just for teens and there is now facebook, meetup.com, and many other sites to meet new friends. I recently started a "dating after divorce" network on ning.com. It is a place for newly single people to share their thoughts and feelings and meet other divorced people in the same situation. You can go to www.datingafterdivorce.ning.com to join for free.

If you are going to use the Internet to meet potential dating partners, be sure to protect yourself and do not give out your personal information. Communicate by email in the beginning and then slowly build up a relationship that then leads to phone conversations. If you do meet in person, choose a busy public place for the first few meetings.

Your online dating experience can be a good one if you use caution. Meeting someone new after divorce can be an adventure and by using the Internet to help you in your quest, you may find that new, special relationship you have been looking for.