Finding New Love After Divorce...
How do you know if you are ready for a serious, committed relationship after going through a divorce? It can be a tricky question and the answer may surprise you.
Many people feel ready to date again after a divorce, but most are not ready to jump back into serious relationship. It is natural to feel lonely after a divorce and want to become intimate once again with someone special, but it takes time to heal emotionally from the breakup of your marriage.
So how do you know if you are really ready to make a commitment to someone new? The answer lies within you. Are you happy on your own? Do you like spending time by yourself and feel generally happy about your life now? If you feel that a new mate would compliment you at this stage in your life, but is not absolutely necessary for your happiness, then you are probably ready for a new relationship.
It may sound paradoxical, but if you are desperate for love and feel incomplete without a partner, it is a clear sign that you need to do some inner work on yourself. Jumping into new relationship at this point will most likely result in a rebound relationship that will not last.
It is difficult to suppress the overwhelming need for companionship and love. But it is a strong indication that you are searching for someone else to complete you when you feel desperate to find a new love.
When you feel content and satisfied with your life and can enjoy your own company, you are a whole person looking for someone to share your life with. Not only do you become very attractive to others, you will find potential new mates gravitating toward you and you will not have to go out searching for them. When we feel needy, unhappy and desperate for love, we only attract the same qualities in others. This increases the likelihood of a disastrous relationship between two people bringing many unresolved past issues to the table. Remember, like attracts like. If you are truly ready to attract an emotionally stable, happy, well rounded person, you must become that person first.
3 comments:
Right now... I cannot even think about dating again. The thought of being with someone else not only makes me sick to my stomach but it scares me!!
Great blog!
I know how you feel, Dating after a divorce can be scary. Take your time and wait until you feel ready. Now is a good time to focus all of your attention on yourself and your divorce recovery.
Best wishes,
Christina
Christina!
Where's the "love" for men here?
Just kidding - I realize the focus of this site - and you've done a good job.
Statistics show that way over 50% of men remarry within 2 years - and of those marriages 85% end in divorce.
When I got my divorce 4 1/2 years ago - I had so much junk in my trunk, I believed that all I needed to do was meet my "split-apart" and life would be happily-ever-after.
Wrong - I had some serious work to do.
Also, I was TERRIFIED of being alone - 2BR apartment - the whole 9 yards of solo bachelorhood.
But, the FEAR of being alone is the biggest part - the reality of it isn't nearly such a big deal.
And it's true, on the other side of the lonely scared, is awesome. At this point I savor my privacy and alone time - leave socks and t-shirts in the floor for days sometimes - just because I can!
LOL
One thing is for sure - if you do something to grow personally and heal - time will heal and you'll be stronger.
Thanks for this blog - I'm sure your book is awesome.
Rick Butts
http://RickButts.com
The Rick Butts Show
Post a Comment