Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Do You Spend Your Kid's Child Support on Yourself?...
Many father's rights advocate groups will tell you that one of the main excuses a man gives for not paying child support is that he thinks his ex-wife will spend all of the money on herself and not the kids. Since the a custodial parent receiving child support does not have to report how she spends the money, many dads are left wondering if the money is really going to the kids.
I feel that this is a myth. I have yet to meet one women who uses her kid's child support for her own needs and neglects the financial needs of her children. I am not saying that there are not some women out there who spend the child support on designer handbags,. There may be, but I have yet to meet one. The single moms I know, myself included, not only spend all of the child support on their kids, they are left short each month and must pay for all of the "extras" that children require.
My child support payments cover food for my children and that is it. All other expenses, like housing, clothing, holidays, birthdays, school expenses, etc. are taken care of by me and it comes to a higher amount than the child support my kids receive. I am not complaining, because I am grateful that my ex-husband now makes regular payments each month when so many women are dealing with deadbeat dads who pay nothing or are continually late.
I don't see how a woman could use the child support payments for herself unless she neglected her children's needs. In that case, the non-custodial parent should file a motion in court for custody if he feels his children are being neglected. It is a very hard thing to prove, however, so make sure you have proof that your children are not being taken care of. Evidence of this would be children who are malnourished and unkempt. Don't assume your ex is using the child support for herself without actual evidence.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Quick question... How do you feel about a mother living off of insurance money for an automobile accident, living with her wealthy mother, working under the table just one day a week, and then asking for child support from the father who will have joint custody, and works two jobs? How does that work? In my eyes women who do not even try to make a living for themselves do not deserve child support.

Anonymous said...

Under O.R.C. § 3103, BOTH parents are liable for supporting their children, so if the mother who gets custody thinks that she can stay at home and do whatever she wants and only get a "pin job" is only fooling herself. The court will not give her more money because the support that comes from the non-residential parent (usually the father) can only be taken in accordance with what he earns. That amount can only be reviewed after a certain period of time has passed or if the non-residential parent has knowledge of a significant increase (10% or more) in pay. So, the women think they don't get enough money? Do the children have to have EVERYTHING? Do you really think that the non-residential father lives a high lifestyle? Child support sometimes leaves the non-residential father scraping by for his own living after the court-ordered payments are taken. That's not right, either. The only justice is that a certain amount of the residential mother's incomem be specifically ordered as her contributory portion of child support for the household and then BOTH of those parties are ordered to show proof of how the money is allocated for the support of the children by reporting with receipts and other proof of expenditure. Similar to income tax, this can be filed as a return that is yearly required so that there is no dispute of where the child support went. Fair is fair for BOTH parentsl.

Anonymous said...

You are full of shit, you `are naive to think some mothers will not even attempt to progree because they know child support will cover them. If you have not met one, that is because your eyes are wide shut and do not want to find one. BITCH!

Anonymous said...

Child support is a terrible burden on non-custodial fathers. They are forced to become mere visitors in their childrens' lives, and are then forced to pay for that dubious priviledge. The manner in which child support is calculated is a farce, seemingly intentionally designed so that the amount will never truly go down. In Washington state, for example, if you have three kids under 12, and your wife has an income of 2,000 a month after taxes, and your's is 4,000 a month after taxes, you will pay 1111 a month in CS, standard calculation. That doesn't include the medical insurance you will undoubtedly all be picking up. Now, what happens if her income goes up to 4000 a month and yours is the same? Does your CS go down by the same amount? Does it drop precipitously? Nope. Your payments will be 1071 a month. What happens if the impossible happens and her income goes up to 8000 a month, more than double yours? Do you get a huge break on CS? Nope. Your monthly payments will be 965 a month. Nine hundred and sixty-five dollars a month! This is the money going to someone who clears 8 grand a month after taxes! Ridiculous! Someone making 8 grand a month after taxes doesn't need *anything* by way of CS, and yet there it sits, the "standard" calculation. This is a travesty, and it is tyranny. Anyone who would defend this system is a callous monster.

Anonymous said...

You should come visit DuPage County Illinois. Here over 90% of divorces are filed by women, I am yet to meet one who has gone back to work, they live 100% of their kids child supports, keep the nice house, the cars, the furniture, etc. their husbands earned, while the father's are left moving into third-grade housing, scraping around to get their basic needs met. Moms are at health clubs in the mornings, lunch dates with friends, then maybe nail or hair done before picking up kids from school. DuPage County Illinois family court is the most skewed family court system ! There is no justice here. And this is written by a MOTHER who has watched multiple friends divorce their good husbands.

Latin-Budo Warrior said...

Dear Christina,

I went to your seven secrets YouTube video just to get a glimpse about your views on men and why women need to be so called "prepared for war". What I find interesting is that men have asked you questions on crucial topics as to what they may go through and encounter and I have not seen any response from you. Keep one thing in mind. Your experience with your ex husband was your own. Based on what I read if it was true then, it sounds like he was scum, and I can see why you would want women to not go through your ordeal, I get it. Understand this however, there are many good men like myself who love our children passionately and we want to be involved in their lives with the very same entitlement and freedom as the mother. Many men are victimized by this atrocious, and antiquated system of double standard hypocrisy. Believe it or not Christina, men are also emotional creatures and though society is a tad bit slow in recognizing the emotional needs of a man, ripping children away from him as though they are automatic mother's property is painful, cruel and immoral. I am not married and am still with my partner. I love her and the children deeply, sincerely, wholeheartedly and believe cheating is WRONG. However I have seen the injustice many men face. I've seen child support used for stocks, used to pay people's legal documents. I do not believe that you, being a woman's advocate have not seen at least one woman, vindictive in nature to want to ruin a man financially and emotionally. Do you not know that a man is still a child's father? When that child grows up do you not think they can distinguish between the deadbeat dad from the ever struggling emotionally and psychologically beaten man who tried? Children learn, see grow, and will know if their mother was a nasty piece of sh--. Again I have no complaints in my house but wrong is wrong.To see women become judges, lawyers, COs of companies and become professionals in this society is a well deserved accomplishment. Women apart from the physical strength can do anything a man can, at times better in some areas. HOWEVER, on the flip note, men can be primary caregivers while still maintaining that strong fatherly male role figure. Men, also, can be the primary custodial parent if the courts got their heads outta their ass and gave them a shot. And it's not about what's better for the kids because when I hear entitled mothers shout "those are my kids!" She is not coming from an angle of their concern or well being. In that moment, she is simply territorial about what she THINKS is hers. Those are NOT HER KIDS, THEY ARE BOOOOTH OF YOUR KIDS. When that baby pops out of the womb the first thing the court tells a man is he is ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT CHILD EQUALLY. NO ESCAPE RIGHT?? He made the child, step up to the plate, so guess what? Let him step up even more, give him the kids for a change and let her ass work and pay, fair equal treatment right? Women advance and can do anything in society right? No prob, then step back and let the modern dad show you he can do anything a woman can minus the actual child bearing. You can't expect men not to flip out when this ancient system of family court laws was catered towards women and situations of the past where, solely the men worked and women stayed at home, child caring, cleaning, financially dependent on the man. NO MORE, so change the goddam laws to reflect what society is today. So I challenge you Christina. Don't give advice of a still scorned woman looking to care for the well being of women when some women if not most, do not end up divorcing based on your experience. Why don't you give fair, honest, human decent advice to GOOD PEOPLE, good men who face the fecal matter that cheats on him and wants the kids and his money and the good women who, have human scum cheat on them. Be fair, be just, be decent. Rise above and evolve beyond the poor all women me crap! There are villains in both genders...case closed.