I recently had a conversation with a friend who confided to me that she and her boyfriend are planning on having Christmas dinner with her boyfriend's father and his new wife. However, they cannot tell her boyfriend's mother of their plans because she will fly off the handle and become enraged if her son spends the holiday with his father.
This woman has been divorced for over five years and still has not gotten over her divorce yet. Not only is she living in misery, she is putting her son in the middle, forcing him into an impossible situation of choosing between his parents on the holidays.
Unfortunately, many innocent children of divorce get caught up between battling parents, especially around the holidays and special occasions. Family gatherings, weddings and other family events can cause stress and anxiety for kids of all ages who dread having their parents in the same room.
No matter how angry and bitter one parent feels towards the other, they must find a way to put their own feelings aside. It is selfish to ruin a holiday or special occasion becuase you cannot stand your ex. Making your children feel guilty by making them choose between parents is wrong.
My friend joked that if she and her boyfriend get married they will have to have two weddings, one for his mother and one for the father. Let's hope that her future mother-in-law finally comes to terms with her divorce and starts to let go of the anger and resentment she feels towards her ex. By holding on to these negative emotions, she is hurting herself and her children.