Tuesday, March 06, 2007

1. Is your husband suddenly paying more attention to his appearance? Is he wearing new clothes, using cologne, and making sure his hair is combed? If this is not his normal behavior then this is a huge sign your husband is having an affair.
2. He is critical of you and has been picking fights lately. This is another big sign.
My ex was very cranky around the time he was cheating. I couldn’t understand why he was so angry at me. I remember one night he got dressed, put on his shoes, and brushed his teeth. I thought it was odd because it was late and it looked liked he was going somewhere. Instead he sat on the couch. As I was finishing something on the computer, he yelled, “So you’re not going to spend any time with me? Fine, I am going to my friend’s house,” and he got up and left. I realized later that he was purposely picking a fight with me so he would have an excuse to leave the house. His “friend,” of course, was his lover!
3. Watch out if your ex is suddenly too nice to you. If this not his normal behavior then he could be feeling very guilty and trying to assuage his pangs of guilt.
4. He doesn’t want you using his cell phone. This is how my divorce began. My ex twisted my arm when I wouldn’t give him back his cell phone. He knew of course that I would discover the calls to his lover. Ask your husband if you can use his cell. See his reaction.
5. Is he staying up late surfing the Web till the wee hours of the night? He may be having cybersex, looking at pornography, or instant-messaging his lover. If you are computer savvy, you can check your computer and find out where your husband has been on the Internet. There are also programs you can install on your computer to monitor activity and find out what is really going on.
6. Does your husband have a newfound interest in hanging out with the guys? Did he just start a new hobby or join the gym? Is he gone certain evenings of the week? You may want to discreetly follow him one evening and see where he is really going. My ex started hanging out with one of his buddies several times a week. This was the same guy he would go out with maybe once every few months. It became obvious later that the “buddy” was his girlfriend.
7. Is he no longer interested in having sex with you? Was he always wanting to be with you in the past but now has lost interest? This is another huge sign. Sometimes though it can be the opposite, the guilty husband syndrome. He may want to be intimate with you even though he is getting it somewhere else too! I coached a woman who found out that her husband was cheating the morning after he made love to her. Apparently he had been intimate with his mistress the day before too!

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