Famous Fathers Setting a Good Example During Divorce..

I write many articles about nasty celebrity divorces and about deadbeat dads, so I thought it would only be fair to write about two famous dads who are taking the high road during their divorces and doing the right thing.

First up is Robin Williams. Not only has he not bashed his wife in public, he actually signed an agreement not so so. He and his wife are going the Collaborative Divorce route and working together to resolve their differences in a amicable manner. This will undoubtedly have a positive effect on the couple's children.

Next we have Russell Simmons. He has recently worked out a custody agreement with soon to be ex wife Kimora Lee Simmons. Russell is paying a substantial monthly sum in child support and had this to say about Kimora and their agreement:

"Finally, I want to say Kimora is a excellent mother and is doing a great job with them. My kids are studying a couple of foreign languages, they travel around the world, they practice yoga, ballet, swimming, karate and piano, among other things...sometimes I think they do too much, but I trust in Kimora on this because she IS a good mother.
Regarding the money, my kids live a tremendous life. They do have lots of security, nannies, educators, special programs, travel, chefs, on and on. Their mother manages all of those luxuries and I’m happy to provide for that."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all divorcing dads and moms acted with such class and dignity, putting the needs of their children first, instead of withholding financial support to get even with their ex? You do not need Russell Simmons huge bank account to provide a comfortable living for your kids.

Instead of complaining about how much you have to pay in child support or assuming your ex is spending that support on themselves, you can take the high road these two famous fathers have taken. Learn from their example. Neither is bashing their ex or fighting or complaining about the financial support they must pay.

Can You Forgive Your Ex and Let Go?

If you have gone through a bitter divorce and especially if your ex has cheated, it can be very difficult to let go of anger and resentment. People tell you that you need to move on and forgive, but sometimes that is easier said than done.

I want to share a story with you about a friend of mine, who was so angry with her ex, she couldn't even say his name without seething with anger. She hated him with a passion and was more than happy to share with you all of her ex-husband's dirty deeds. This went on for over 5 years.

Then one day, as she was getting dressed, she noticed an unusual spot on her chest. She quickly made an appointment with a dermatologist. In the days leading up to her appointment her mind raced with thoughts of skin cancer and dying. She thought of her two grown children and how terrible it would be leaving them.

Then she thought of her ex-husband. Suddenly, it hit her; Did she really hate him so much that she could leave this earth without resolving her issues with him? She made the decision to call him and asked him to come over.

For hours she let her feelings out and told him how much he had hurt her but she also told him that she would like to forgive him and be civil to one another for the sake for their children. He was stunned and tears welled up in his eyes. He was thrilled to finally be forgiven and no longer the target of his ex-wife's hatred.

Her two kids were also elated. For years they could not even tell their mother they were visiting their dad for fear it would upset her. Fortunately, she does not have skin cancer. But it took a scare to turn her life around. She now feels lighter, like a giant weight has been lifted. Her ex has even offered to come over and help her with the pool in the backyard that needs work.

This story has a happy ending, but most bitter divorce battles do not end up this way. Couples go on for years and years hating each other and holding on to anger and bitterness. In order to let go, you need to start over. Right where you are now. You have to let the past go. If you continually think about what your ex has done to you and all of the terrible things you have been through in your divorce, you keep those memories and feelings alive.

As my friend has proved, anybody, even in the worst divorce cases, can forgive and let go. Hopefully you will not need a life threatening illness to wake up and realize that life is too short for grudges and hatred.

Find out the three things you must know to have a successful divorce outcome.....

Celebrity Divorces In the News This Week....

This was a busy week for divorcing celebrities. Here is a run down:

Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook: Their divorce trial is set to begin next week. Meanwhile, Christie has subpoenaed the 19 year old girl her ex-husband had an affair with to testify in court.

Kimora Lee Simmons and Russell Simmons: Looks like this is an amicable divorce, with Russell agreeing to pay $40,000 a month in child support.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline: Britney gets overnight visits with the boys but they are still unable to settle custody issues in mediation. Trial is set for later this summer

Hulk and Linda Hogan: Hulk confesses he still loves Linda even though they are getting divorced. Linda is still dating the 19 year old friend of her daughter, Brooke. Brooke is no longer speaking to her mom.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie: Rumored to be getting a divorce. Madonna supposedly met with Paul McCartney's pitbull of a divorce attorney. Amazingly, rumors are that there is no pre-nup and Guy could get half of Madonna's 600 million fortune.

When The Divorce Never Ends....

Did you hear about the woman in Florida who has been going through a divorce for 13 years and has been through 16 lawyers and 10 judges? Sounds unbelievable, but unfortunately it is true. Even though she was awarded $240,000 and $6,000 a month in alimony and attorney fees, she has only been able to get $162,000 of that, half of which the lawyers took and the rest went to martial debt. Now Marlene Forland is on public assistance and living with her mother.

Ms. Forland continues to fight for justice and force her ex-husband, who has eluded the law by moving out of state, to pay up. What I wonder is how much has this divorce case actually cost this woman emotionally? I cannot fathom fighting a divorce case for 13 years. My own divorce battle lasted 18 months and that was more than enough.

Maybe it is time for her to let go. Yes, it is not fair. Her ex should not get away with dodging a court order and leaving his ex-wife destitute. But what if Ms. Forland decided to put all of her energy into herself and rebuilding her life? What if her focus switched to starting a business or going back to school so she could get off public assistance? I am not judging her in anyway and can completely understand her outrage and frustration. The problem is that she is caught in a web of negative energy fighting in a legal system that only benefits the lawyers. The more she fights, the higher her legal fees.

Even the judge in the case recently said, “Even if I rule 100 percent in your favor, I’m just going to add another piece of paper [to your casefile] — the next page of Volume 13.”

If she could emotionally detach herself from this and release her anger at this injustice, she might be able to create a new life without focusing everyday on how to get her ex to pay. I have a feeling this man will get what he deserves in the end, anyway. "What goes around , comes around" and someone who flees the state and goes into hiding to avoid paying their ex alimony cannot be attracting good things into his life.

Find out the three things you must know to win your divorce....

Three Stupid Mistakes Divorced People Make...

I was inspired to write about the stupid mistakes divorced people make after reading about the ongoing divorce battle between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. Charlie Sheen has said and done some very dumb things and hopefully you can learn from his mistakes and not repeat them during your own divorce. Here they are:

1. Do not leave threatening messages on your ex's voicemail. This should be a no brainer for anyone going through a nasty divorce. If you lose control and leave angry messages on your ex's voicemail, be certain that your ex will use it against you. Denise Richards released tapes of her ex calling her all sorts of horrible names and racial slurs.

2. When you give a gift to your children, it becomes their property and you cannot tell them to leave it at "your house" and not bring it to your ex's home. This is a huge mistake divorcing parents make, In an effort to control their ex, they will buy the kids clothes and toys that are only for their own home, not to be brought to mom or dad's. This is upsetting to the children and puts them in the middle. Charlie Sheen did this recently, when during his recent wedding, he bought his two young daughter's necklaces and demanded they take them off before returning home to their mother's house.

3. This one is obvious. Do not bad mouth your ex to anyone who will listen. Let's face it, most of us are guilty of this. We get a sympathetic ear, and off we go, bashing the ex. It makes us feel good to get someone "on our side". But what it really does is create negative energy and prolong the time it takes to recover from your divorce. Limit your discussions about your ex to a few family members or good friends. Both Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are guilty of bashing each other and have the entire world as their audience. Unfortunately the drama and bitterness cannot end until they both stop talking and let go of the anger and hatred they have for one another.

Should Divorce Trials Be Kept Private?

A N.Y. Court has granted model Christie Brinkley's request to keep her divorce trial with husband Peter Cook public . Her ex had requested the proceedings be made private to protect their two children. He was caught cheating on the former supermodel with a 19 year old assistant and did not want the public to have access to the dirty laundry that will inevitably be aired during this divorce trial.

I think this divorce trial should be kept private, although not to protect Mr. Cook's reputation. The issue here is their two children. Now that the trial is going to be open to the public, it means that the press will be privy to everything. Naturally they will report on all of the allegations, including ones of porn addiction and other deviant behavior by their father. These kids may be teased at school and unfortunately will be able to read about their parent's divorce on the Internet and see it on T.V.

Although you wan to be truthful with your kids during a divorce, you also want to spare them the ugly details. Keeping a divorce trial private, especially for celebrities, also protects the children from hearing things that they may not be able to comprehend at a young age. I am sure Christie Brinkley feels hurt and angry and wants to make her ex suffer by humiliating and embarrassing him. After what he has done, he deserves it. But her kids do not. By dragging him through the mud, she is going to take the kids along for the ride.

Are Your Kids Out of Control After Your Divorce?...

I have four kids, two girls and two boys. My sons are now 14 and 15 and have become quite a challenge. They are good boys, but typical teenagers who can become disrespectful at times and tend to challenge me when I attempt to discipline them. I was trying to figure out why I am having a difficult time disciplining them and then after watching an episode of "Supernanny", of all things, it hit me.

When I was married, my husband was the tough disciplinary in the family. I would, like many moms, hand much of the disciplining over to him. I am sure we have all heard, growing up ,our mothers saying "Just wait until Dad gets home". That is how it was in my home. Mom was the easy going , nurturing Mom who we could get our way with but there was no getting over on Dad. My brother and I would be struck with fear when we misbehaved, knowing we would have to face Dad.

So when I had my own kids I guess I subconsciously modeled my parents parenting style. My husband become the one who laid down the law with the kids when he got home. The problem began when my husband no longer came home and moved out.

After the divorce, it became more difficult to discipline my sons. For some reason though my two daughters have remained relatively easy. My oldest daughter is now 21 and my youngest 10 and maybe because they are girls and see me as a role model, I have not had the same issues with them as I have had with my sons, who are growing up without a father figure in the house.

I think my recent revelation means that I need to stand up and become a stronger disciplinary figure in my home. Regardless of gender, a parent can be viewed as a strong, firm but loving parent. I share my own story here because I think this is an issue that many single parents face.

After a divorce, there are so many logistics to work out with the kids, from custody arrangements, child support and visitation. I think very few parents ponder what a divorce will mean as far as disciplining the kids and what parental roles need to be adjusted now that the kids no longer live in a two parent home.

Putting the Kids First During Divorce...

The second annual recognition of National Child-Centered Divorce Month will take place throughout July across the United States. Professionals who deal with divorce issues -- therapists, attorneys, mediators, coaches, educators, clergy and others – will be joining forces to share valuable parenting messages. One of the most significant is: Don’t Make Your Child a Pawn in Your Conflict. Instead, put your children's needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation.
National Child-Centered Divorce Month was initiated by Rosalind Sedacca, a Certified Corporate Trainer and author of the new book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Sedacca has created a Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents and works closely with a broad group of therapists, attorneys, mediators, divorce coaches, educators and other professionals who focus on creating the most positive and harmonious outcomes for families transitioning through divorce.
Sedacca is passionate about enlisting the nation’s legal and therapeutic communities for one purpose: bringing a heightened awareness to parents about their children’s fragile sense of self-esteem. “We can never overemphasize how dramatically parental decisions about divorce can affect their children – for years – and often for a lifetime.”
Sedacca’s new book is based on her personal experience more than a decade ago when she was facing the difficult task of breaking her divorce news to her eleven year old son. She ultimately created a simple and compassionate storybook, integrating family photos and history, as a successful way to move through the tough conversation.
Now her innovative Create-a-Storybook™ strategy has become a customizable ebook with age-appropriate fill-in-the-blank templates, along with advice from six practicing therapists. The book is designed to keep parents on track with the right messages. Children (ages 5-15) love to see themselves in the family photos and derive comfort from being able to read the book again and again in the weeks and months that follow.
Sedacca attributes most of the negative consequences of divorce to one or both parents making choices that are not in the best interest of their children. “Frequently,” she says, “parents are so caught up in their own drama -- in anger, resentment, frustration, grief and other emotions -- that they forget their children love both Mom and Dad and in most cases do not want to lose the connection with their other parent.”
Throughout National Child-Centered Divorce Month she wants to remind parents to share some important messages with their children. These include:
None of this is your fault.
Both Mom and Dad still love you -- and always will.
Despite the changes in your life, you will be okay because Mom and Dad are handling things with you best interest at heart.
Sedacca stresses that “your children are innocent victims of your choices. They are also relatively powerless and emotionally fragile. If you love them, think before you act and remember to put their needs first.”

Dating After Divorce: The Best Online Sites For Dating...

I was recently contacted by a blogger who was willing to share a terrifc article about dating after divorce. I pulled out the top online sites for dating out of her article to share with you here. Click here to read full article,"Dating After Divorce: 50 Tips to Get Back into the Groove" By Alisa Miller
"One of the most popular ways to stay in touch with friends is through social networking sites. With many sites, not only can you keep up with friends you see every day, but you can also follow those who live further away. Some social networking sites also serve as dating sites, too. If you aren’t already familiar with social networking, after a divorce is a great time to discover it–you might be surprised to find so many of your friends already there. Check out some of these sites below".

Facebook. Find your friends on Facebook, then share photos, play games like Scrabulous, and keep up with what’s happening in their lives. Facebook allows you to adjust privacy controls so that you can choose who sees your profile information.
MySpace. Like Facebook, MySpace allows you to connect with friends and stay current with their lives. MySpace offers music on the profiles and you can personalize your page to your liking.
Twitter. If you just want to keep your friends updated and know what they are up to, Twitter allows you to type in a short update that goes out to your friends. If you like getting messages on your phone, have the updates go directly there.
Pownce. Share messages, files, links, and events with your friends on Pownce. Its aesthetically pleasing design earned itself a place in 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks.
Meetup.com. Choose an interest such as knitting, politics, or speaking French and find a group in your area. Meetups usually happen on a specified day of each month.
Classmates.com. Use this site to find old friends from high school, college, the military, and workplaces. You can also connect with people through specific interest groups. This service is free, but to have full access, you will have to buy a subscription.
Reunion.com. Reunion provides the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, family, and lost loves. With a free membership, you can create a profile and search for friends. With a paid subscription, you get other benefits such as finding out who was searching for you and sending messages to other members.
Flickr. Upload your photos and share them with friends and family on this site. Search for people you know or join a special interest group such as people who appreciate black and white photography.
Flixster. This is the social networking site for movie lovers. You can find your friends and share your favorite movies with them. Also, keep updated on the news from the movie world and meet other movie fans.
Last.fm. For music fans, check out Last.fm. Upload music and videos, discover new music, and share your favorites with your friends. You can also find new friends with similar taste in music.
Shelfari. Book lovers will love this site. Create a virtual book shelf of what you’ve read, are currently reading, or want to read and share with your friends. Connect with new friends in groups and share your book shelf on your blog or other social networking sites.
Online Dating
If you were married for more than a handful of years, dating is much different than it was when you were doing it before. Online dating is the most popular way to get out there and find a partner. The following list offers some of the most popular online dating services.
Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Linda Hogan "Rocks The Cradle" With 19 Year Old Boyfriend...

The Hogans are at it again. It seems like you cannot watch the news without hearing about the son's legal troubles or their impending divorce. Now comes news that Linda Hogan is dating a 19 year old. This man or should I say boy? is a friend of both her kids.

After my own divorce, I got asked out by a 21 year old. At the time, I was 36 years old. I declined his offer, but took it as a compliment and found it rather amusing. Dating a man so much younger does not appeal to me for several reasons. One reason is I could be old enough to be his mother. Another would be not having much in common and still another would just imagining what his poor mother would think. I have two daughters and two sons and if my son came home at 19 years old with a woman in her mid forties, I would not be happy.

Linda Hogan may be just having some fun, letting off steam and trying to recover from all of the stress in her life. Her affair with this 19 year old is most likely just a fling. With so many men dating younger women it seems wrong to criticize Linda Hogan for dating a younger man so much younger than her. Tom Cruise is significantly older than Katie Holmes, yet I have not read anything negative about their age difference nor as it been an issue in the press. However, all we ever hear about the Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher marriage is how much older she is than him.

I think that although we may not agree with Linda Hogan's choice in men, we should give her some slack on the issue. Going though a difficult divorce can cause you to exercise poor judgement and she may just come to her senses when her life calms down and her personal issues are resolved.

Discover the three things you must know before getting a divorce.....

When Your Ex Remarries....

I got an email the other day from my divorced cousin, who I haven't spoken to in a few months. She wrote that her ex-husband has remarried and is expecting a baby with his new wife this winter.

As I read her email, I cringed. I could only imagine how she felt. Sure she has been divorce for years, but it still has to sting a little to find out your ex has remarried and has a new baby on the way.

You don't hear divorced people speak of this very often. No one wants to admit that after a divorce, they actually care whether or not their ex has found someone new. But deep inside, it stirs up some latent emotions. You are reminded again of how your marriage failed, how the dreams you had together were dashed. It just isn't what you could of ever imagined way back when, when you said you vows and promised to stay together until death do you part. I bet it never crossed your mind that someday your husband would be walking down the aisle with another woman.

Of course, like my cousin, you will put on a brave face and may even tell people you are happy for your ex and his new wife. But anybody who has been through a divorce knows that although you have moved on and let go, it is normal to feel that twinge of sadness.

How To Escape An Unhappy Marriage

Florida’s 1st Successful Divorce Showcase provides free passes to those in need....

Community Agencies encouraged to distribute passes to Showcase featured at South Florida Singles’ Lifestyle Expo in Boca Raton, June 8th Boca Raton, FL:

Because divorce affects adults and children in so many significant ways, Florida’s first Successful Divorce Showcase is reaching out to people in particular need for information, resources and advice. The Showcase, a first-time feature at the 14th Annual South Florida Singles’ Lifestyle Expo, will take place on Sunday, June 8th at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Boca Raton, FL from 3:00 on.

Christina Rowe and Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, co-hosts of the event, have contacted many community agencies in Palm Beach and Broward Counties to send them free passes to the Successful Divorce Showcase. Jennifer Mahoney, Special Events Coordinator for AVDA, Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse, said she will distribute the free passes to any of the female residents who are interested in learning more about issues related to separation and divorce – legal, financial, career planning, parenting, self-esteem and more.

Jewish Family Services, Catholic Charities, Children’s Home Society, Legal Aid and other family-focused organizations were also sent free passes to the Expo/Showcase. Some of South Florida’s most experienced and respected divorce professionals – attorneys, mediators, coaches, therapists and others – will be providing educational seminars on topics of major importance to those facing, moving through or transitioning beyond divorce.

Women in distress of Broward County will be exhibiting and presenting a lecture at the Expo as well. Exhibitors at the Successful Divorce Showcase will include experts in mediation, psychotherapy, legal issues, financial advice, divorce coaching, parenting, relationships, dating, college planning and other related topics, offering valuable products and services.

The Showcase is a new feature of the South Florida Single’s Lifestyle Expo which has been bringing together manufacturers, distributors and representatives of products and services specifically related to single adults and their unique lifestyle for the past thirteen years. This year Show Coordinator Al Barry, president of Multi-Expo International, Inc., a Miami-based Convention Planning and Professional Management Group, says he expects more than one hundred companies and over eight hundred attendees.

Besides the exhibit tables, “what makes this event so special,” notes Barry, “is the Live Entertainment, Speed Dating Sessions, new Divorce Forum, Seminars and Florida’s largest Singles’ Dance Party with DJ Bobby Curbelo – all included with admission. It’s a great place for singles to meet other singles in a positive, healthy, safe and friendly atmosphere.” The Singles Expo, including the Successful Divorce Showcase, is open to the general public. Admission is $20.00 at the door or $15.00 in advance. Registration is required in advance or at the door. For more information about the Successful Divorce Showcase contact Al Barry at 305 448-7976 .

How to Get A Divorce If You Want Your Kids to Lose...

Reformed "killer" divorce attorney turned mediator, Cynthia Tiano shared with me some insightful information from a mediator's point of view. It is so sad to see what can happen when a divorcing couple chooses a nasty divorce battle. The children wind up being the biggest losers. Read on:

"I read an article about a divorce custody fight in one of the major local papers down here in South Florida. Even for a reformed "killer" divorce lawyer turned divorce mediator such as myself, it made me sick to see what can happen when the divorce process spins out of control. This case truly epitomizes how to get a divorce if you want your kids to be the ones who really lose.

In this divorce case, each of the parties hired the highest-powered, gun-slinging divorce lawyers that money could buy. The problem in this case was, as it often is, that one of these people had a whole lot more money than the other. A divorce agreement made between these parties after they got married in the event they ever got divorced, stacked the deck against one of the parents.For years they fought it out, up and down the court system, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees.The end result was that one of these parents had to pay the other parent so much money, as decided by the divorce court, that they actually became a fugitive from justice, totally preventing them from seeing their children! If they showed their face, they would be thrown into jail.

Who is going to suffer here? Sure, one of these parents has been a "winner" (if you can call destroying your co-parent a win) and one has been a loser in this divorce child custody fight. But any kid who can’t even see one of their parents because of a bitter divorce custody battle is the real loser.I can’t help but wonder how different this family’s lives would look today if they used divorce mediation to create a peaceful divorce instead of the adversarial divorce process, which pits them against each other from the start. I’ll bet it would look a whole lot different. I hope that one day this family decides to learn how to get a divorce the peaceful, healthy way. "

Cynthia Tiano, Divorce Attorney/Mediator and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Therapist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through gut-wrenching divorces, and learn from their experiences in their new book, Happily Divorced: Secrets of the Win Win Formula. Click here get get a free copy of their groundbreaking ebook "The Ten Worst Mistakes You Can Make When Getting a Divorce"

Canine Custody: Who Gets The Dog?

Going through a divorce is difficult enough with pressing issues like dividing the assets and child custody, but for some couples, especially those who do not have human children, custody of the dog or dogs becomes a problem.

When a couple has children, the pets usually stay with the spouse who retains custody of the kids. It would be traumatic and heartbreaking to rip away a child's pet during his or her parent's divorce. But when there are no children, and both spouses consider the dog to be the "child", things can get heated and nasty. A canine custody battle can ensue.

There is a new book that addresses this problem and aims to guide divorcing couples through the difficult process of canine custody. Jennifer Keene is the author of We Can't Stay Together for the Dogs: Doing What's Best For Your Dog when Your Relationship Breaks.

Here are some tips to working out custody of your dog during a divorce:

1. Put your dog first. It is important to put aside your own needs and think of what is best for your dog. Consider his age, temperament health and tolerance for change.

2. Be fair. Working out an arrangement where you and your ex can share custody of the dog will take hard work and require you both put your emotions aside.

3. Don't fight in front of the dog. Dogs, like kids, sense negative energy and are affected by their owners lashing out at one another. Your goal should be to keep your dog's routine and surroundings as familiar as possible and make sure he feels safe and loved.

Your dog has given you unconditional love and has been there for you through the best and worst times. You owe it to him to do what is best and keep him happy, despite your changing circumstances. Try to work with your spouse to ensure that you both get quality time with the dog after the divorce and do it the most amicable way possible.