Healing the Wounds of Martial Abuse

How does one heal oneself or one’s children from the traumas of abuse? Physical wounds and scars are problematic enough, but much of the injury is done to the heart and mind. How can a victim become whole again?
The aftereffects of abuse can take many forms, including depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD, which includes numbness, edginess, and reliving the event), insomnia, headaches, muscle aches, aggressiveness, delinquency and school problems (in children and teens), and withdrawal.

Encourage children and teens to talk about it. You don’t have to be pushy, but always let them know you are open to their problems. If problems arise with their teachers, neighbors, or other kids, try to use these as opportunities to get the child to talk.

Remember, many of the same things apply to adults. Depression and PTSD were first recognized as adult problems; however, we now know they have a role in children’s lives too. If you have successfully escaped from an abusive situation, and all the evidence tells you that you and your children are reasonably secure, watch out for signs of depression and PTSD. If you find yourself dwelling on what happened, or if you are often overtaken by feelings of fear, malaise, or pessimism, talk it out with someone you trust. Don’t be afraid to seek help. There are many counseling programs available through state and local agencies. Don’t feel as if you have to tough it out on your own. These problems are as real, and can be as debilitating, as any physical wounds. If a physical injury continued to bother you, would you hesitate to go for help? Injuries to the mind and spirit are the same.

Keeping positive during a divorce

If you are facing a divorce, you may be feeling very depressed and upset. These feelings are very normal. You cannot predict what is going to happen when you get married. Some marriages work and others do not. It is important to understand that this is not the end of the world and things like this happen all the time.

You are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce. If you and your spouse cannot longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy. You need to worry about your future and the well being of yourself and your children if any. Sometimes a divorce can be avoided with the help of a marriage counselor, but often there is just no hope.

Altohugh it is difficult to keep a positive outlook when you are going through a divorce., you cannot let yourself be taken down by what is happening around you. If you are being accused of untruthful accusations, you have to keep strong so that you can defend your name and your reputation.

Do not give up. You have to gather all of your strength an inner resources. If you are determined to get something that is rightfully yours, you need to stand up for it. Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you have to stand up for what you believe in.

Keep yourself surrounded by others that are positive as well. Keeping your friends and family around you is important. You need to make sure there is humor and laughter in your life even though you may feel like falling apart. This will keep you in a state of positive energy and keep you ready for what is ahead.

Once the divorce is over and done with no matter what the outcome, you have to be ready to go on with your life. You may not believe it now, but you will have an exciting new life to look forward to and make your dreams come true. Your life is not over even if you think that it is. There are always second chances and you deserve to have one. Your time will come for love again and if it does not, you will know that you are better off without your spouse.

You are being given a chance to start over again and you get to choose whether your life will be filled with happiness and joy or bitterness and hate. Slowly over time you will begin to let go of the bitter feelings that once consumed you.

Remember life is a choice. What happens to you ultimately is based upon how you choose to live your life.