Divorce and Suicide: Are you at risk?

As horrible as my divorce was, I never considered ending it all. As a mother of four, I knew I had to be there for my kids and deep down I had faith that eventually the pain would come to an end and my divorce would be over. However, some people who are in "divorce hell" right now do not feel hopeful and actually consider taking their own lives.

I had never thought about his before until I received an email from a woman who has lost all hope. Her divorce is not going well. Her husband is abusive, controlling and seems to get away with everything, including disobeying court orders. I have heard this same story many times before, but what struck me was how this woman indicated that she just could not go on any longer and felt that things would never get better. She is in despair and feels hopeless.

If you are going through a terrible divorce and feel like justice will never be served, that your ex will win and leave you with nothing, please know that no divorce lasts forever. I know how much pain you are in right now and how hard it is just to get up everyday and face the nightmare of your divorce. You are emotionally drained and have every right to be depressed. But please have faith. Things will turn around for you.

Sometimes in our darkest hours we feel like we can no longer go on. The pain is just too much to bear. Life seems cruel and unfair. Especially if it appears your spouse is getting the upper hand and "winning". But you have to believe that eventually the truth will prevail and justice will be served.

In my own divorce, it seemed like my ex would never be held accountable for his actions. A year went by without him paying alimony and child support. And then, suddenly, the tides turned and he was sent to jail for a month. The judge finally saw through his antics and my divorce turned around. 6 months later we were able to settle our divorce, something I thought would never happen.

So please hang in there and know that many people have walked down the same road you are on. We have came out of the darkness and into the light. Our lives are now better than they were before. This can happen for you too, you just have to hold on and have faith that everything will be okay.

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3 Reasons Divorced People Hate the Holidays...

The holiday season has officially begun and many divorced people are feeling down. With the rest of the world spreading holiday cheer, you may

just want to curl up under your covers and not come out of your room until

January 2nd. Most people do not understand how difficult the holidays can be on someone who has gone through a divorce. Here are 3 reasons

divorce people hate the holidays:

1. Dealing with family. What can be worse than having to face your extended family at the dinner table and having to hear all of the happy family news, like which cousin is engaged, who is having a baby and so on. There you sit, alone, without your spouse, knowing everyone knows all about your divorce drama.

2. Putting up the decorations. As you decorate the Christmas tree, ornaments can be a reminder of Christmases spent with your spouse. Memories come rushing back. This can be a very sad time. Your hopes and dreams for the future with your spouse are gone and the decorations serve as a painful reminder of what has been lost.

3. Sharing the children. Not spending the holiday with your kids has to be the #1 reason divorcees hate the holidays. If it is your spouse's turn to take the kids and you are alone, it can be very difficult to get through the day.

I won't lie to you and tell you that your first or even second holiday season after your divorce will be easy. Eventually though you will find joy again in the holidays. It takes time, but one day you will find yourself looking forward to the holidays. In the meantime, do not feel guilty or try and pretend that you are okay. It is alright to mourn the loss of your marriage and the life you once knew. Cry if you feel like it and try and let go of some of those old bottled up emotions.

If there is anything you can do to cheer yourself up, then do it. Watching old holiday classic movies from your childhood is a great way to get into the holiday spirit. Take it slow and do the best you can. Any small steps you take to life your mood, even a little bit, will help you get through this holiday season.

Depression And Divorce

Divorce stirs up many negative emotions. Especially in the beginning of a divorce, when you are in a state of shock. Next is usually a period of anger and that is followed by sadness and loss. Acceptance comes much later, and for some people never comes at all.

Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, you probably will feel down at times. If your spouse has asked for a divorce, your emotions can run the gamut from anger to depression. Especially if the reason for the break up was an affair or the divorce was completely unexpected.

Recently we heard of actor Owen Wilson's tragic suicide attempt. Although drug use and depression are rumored to be the cause, his recent breakup with actress Kate Hudson might also play a role.

How a person reacts to the end of a relationship or a marriage depends on the person's state of mind before the breakup and the circumstances surrounding it. Feelings of depression, listlessness, loss of appetite and just not wanting to face another day can become serious. It can be perfectly normal for someone experiencing a divorce to go through a temporary stage of mild depression. If it continues for more than a few months or if you have thoughts of suicide, you need to get professional help immediately.

Remember, divorce is a life altering event. Your life had been turned upside down and there are many conflicting feelings you will experience. Make sure to take the time to go through the stages of grief,just as you would do mourning the death of a loved one. You are in fact, mourning the death of you marriage, the death of your plans for the future and the life you once knew.

Although depression can be common during divorce, take care of your emotional and physical health and make sure to seek help when needed.