Prayers Needed for "Pre-Divorce" Friends.....

After a divorce, friends are often divided into three categories. Friends that remain loyal to you and no longer associate with your ex, friends who remain loyal to your ex and no longer associate with you and the rare friends who do not take sides and remain friendly with you both.

I received some terrible news about a couple who I was once close to before my divorce. The husband was our best man at our wedding and also my ex-husband's childhood friend, so when we divorced I lost all contact with him and his wife. Their four year old son has been diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer and only a 25% chance of survival.

This couple is now facing every parent's worst nightmare and my heart goes out to them. I believe in the power of prayer and studies have shown that the more people who pray for someone, the quicker they recover.

So I am asking if you could say a prayer or think a postive thought for little Sergio. His story

was featured in a local newspaper today and you can read about him at:

Benefit Sunday for Edison boy, 4, with rare brain cancer mycentraljersey.com

Stories like this put everything into perspective. No matter how difficult your divorce is or how bad life seems at times, it can always be worse. Taking time out to be grateful for what we do have is so important. As long as you have your health and your loved ones are safe and healthy, you can get through any difficult times.

Sarah Palin's Family Divorce Scandal...

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the GOP vice presidential candidate, is under investigation in Alaska for allegedly firing her public safety commissioner. The issue is whether Palin fired public safety commissioner Walt Monegan after he refused to fire a state trooper who had divorced Palin's sister.

Supposedly Gov. Palin wanted her ex brother in law, Trooper Michael Wooten, fired and also filed numerous complaints against Mr. Wooten that were made part of the bitter divorce trial between Mr. Wooten and Gov. Palin's sister.

It is not unusual for family members to get involved during a divorce. Family and friends are known to take sides and sometimes go too far. During my own divorce, after my ex was arrested for not paying child support, my ex sister in law called my mother and screamed and cursed at her for putting her brother in jail. Obviously my mother had nothing to do with my ex's arrest and my sister in law could not accept the fact that her it was her brother's failure to pay support and breaking of the law that landed him in a jail cell.

We often talk about how people going through a divorce can lose control of their emotions and behave irrationally. The same goes for family members. They lash out, wanting to protect the person they love and can often make a difficult divorce worse.

It is best to advise family members not to get involved in your divorce. If you tell them every ugly detail, they are going to have a negative reaction. Sometimes it is best to confide in a friend instead of a family member who is known to have a short temper. Whether the allegations against Gov.Palin are true or not, it is just another example of how a nasty divorce battle not only affects the couple who is divorcing, but everyone around them.

How Divorce Affects Friendships

It can be difficult making the adjustment from being part of a married couple to being a single person once again. You may no longer share the same interests as your married friends and relationships can become awkward and strained.

It hurts when you feel as though you no longer fit in with the same people you once called your friends. If you and your spouse were close with other couples and socialized together, you may feel out of place at gatherings with other couples. After dealing with the loss of your marriage, it is especially hard to lose friends as well.

But divorce is a new beginning and sometimes divorcing your spouse means also shedding old relationships that no longer suite you. The truth is you may not have that much in common with your married friends anymore. Finding new friendships with other single or divorced people in the same situation as you can be therapeutic.

A great place to make new friends is www.meetup.com. Meetup is an online website
that you can join for free. You can find groups of people in your area that you share specific interests with and meet each other locally. You can find divorce support groups and other single groups. It is wonderful to meet with other people who understand what you have gone through and are there to support you. Finding new friends that share a hobby or passion of yours is also benefical.

Divorce means starting over and although you may see some friendships come to an end, new ones are waiting for you.