The Perils of Dating After Divorce....

It can be scary to be single again after a divorce. It is tough putting yourself out there again and meeting new people. One benefit of marriage, unless your ex was cheating or violent, is knowing you are relatively safe from harm. We hear stories in the news about dates gone wrong, women losing their life savings to con artists and the increased risks of STDs.

One website is even offering a service now that will deliver an "e-card" to a partner informing them that you have an STD! How crazy is that? Can you imagine opening your email and reading "Just wanted to say Hi and by the way, I have an STD, get yourself checked out". Other websites offer background checks so that you can investigate your future dates and make sure they are not criminals.

So should you plan to do background checks and require a clean bill of health for all of your potential dates, post divorce? I think that may be taking it to the extreme. One thing we all have, and it is free, is our intuition. I believe our gut feelings always lead us in the right direction, even though we don't always listen.

Dating after divorce does not have to be frightening. Trust yourself to make the right judgment calls about new people you meet. Always listen to that little voice inside you, the one that warns you when something is not right. Focus on meeting safe, healthy people and you will. Remember, the very thing you fear the most is often what you attract. By being afraid to date and dwelling on what could go wrong, you can almost guarantee that will be your experience. Relax, have fun and enjoy this new chapter in your life.

Are You Dating A Divorced Man? Know What You are Getting Into...

If you are dating a divorced man with children, you need to fully understand what you are getting yourself into. It irks me when women date a divorced man and then complain that their boyfriend is paying too much child support and alimony.

Give me a break. You have to expect that if your boyfriend has an ex-wife and kids, he must fulfill his financial and parental obligations to his first family. Dating a divorced man is not like dating a man who has never been married before. Many women knowingly date these men and then get upset when he does not have the money or the time to spend on them.

Any decent man will put his kids first before your relationship. If you are not willing to accept the baggage that comes with dating a divorced man you should date someone who has never been married. Here are few things to expect while dating a divorce man:

1. Unless he is wealthy, he will have less money to spend on dinners out, vacations and other luxuries.

2. He will be spending time with his children. If you want him all to yourself, you are out of luck.

3. He must deal with his ex-wife when it comes to raising his children. You need to accept her as part of his life and get over your resentment.

Finally, if you plan on marrying a divorced man and want to have children, do not complain that there will be less money for your household because he pays child support. You knew about his obligations to his children before you married him. Also be aware that you will have a whole new set of issues with step children. There is nothing wrong with dating a divorced man and you can have a wonderful relationship, if you go into it with your eye wide open and know what to expect.